The Lupent
by Regal Baring
Summary: Harry's turning 16, Sirius is dead, and he's taken away from the Dursley's by Snape, of all people, to be told of a life-changing, reality-altering genetic inheritance and warring animal instincts. But that's only one of his problems. (HPSS vs. HPRL)
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: The Lupent

**Author**: Regal Baring (previously S.Malfoy)

**Disclaimer**: I don't own, JKR does (which incidentally means no profit for me), I just twist them for my wonderful, evil pleasure.

**Pairing**: HP/SS, HP/RL

**Warning**: AU, Explicit slash, homoerotic content between two men

* * *

**Chapter 1** _Sweet 16_

Harry watched the moonlight flutter weakly through his window from where he lay silent and still on the thin, lumpy mattress that barely supported his weight. _It's only a few minutes till my birthday…I killed a man before my sixteenth birthday_, Harry thought drowsily while he let his fingers tangle in the sheet twisted around his hips. _I killed my godfather before my sixteenth birthday._

He couldn't even dredge up anger. The only emotions that seemed to penetrate the wall his mind had built up was grief and anger; a decapitating, non-diminishing grief and uncontrollable bursts of fury.

_I wonder if next year I'll manage to kill the Dursley's before my seventeenth birthday. Then I can live on my own, or perhaps Dumbledore can find me a nice bridge I can hide under for the rest of my life._

Harry lazily watched the small, white alarm clock arm tick its way around the dial, and with a _snick_ that tolled the doom of the world, his sixteenth birthday was one minute closer to commencement. It was 11:59, only one more minute till he turned sixteen…

_Snick._ It was midnight.

He liked to imagine Sirius was laughing madly at the ironic sense of humor Fate had. It wasn't Voldemort that killed him, or even Bellatrix Lestrange for that matter. It was his own damn godson that might as well have fired the curse that had sent him stumbling to his death.

"Stupid boy," Harry mumbled to himself. "I think I'm going mad."

"It would seem so," came the silky voice from the boxy frame of his doorway. Harry didn't bother to look away from his alarm clock.

"Only a few seconds too late, Snape," Harry muttered. "As usual, you didn't quite make it."

"Quiet, Potter. Where are your things?" Snape asked before whispering _lumos_ to illuminate the darkness.

"You're not even out of bed, Potter! Didn't you get the blasted note the Headmaster sent you?" Snape snipped as he took in the total disarray of the room. Harry's aunt hadn't bothered coming in to clean since the beginning of the summer.

"Yeah, it's over there somewhere," Harry said as he motioned with his free hand, pointing towards the cluttered desk against the wall.

"I see. And as usual _you_, with total disregard for others, chose not to pack any of your belongings," Snape sneered.

"I didn't really feel like it," Harry said, still watching the glass face of the clock dispassionately. His glasses reflected the time, eerily distorting the color of his eyes and making them appear more like floating numbers and dials.

"Well, get up now, you imbecile!" Snape snarled, waving his wand to gather Harry's belongings and shove them with little regard into his trunk.

"I don't really feel like going," Harry said, finally turning his gaze toward the Potions master. Snape glared at him, and to Harry it looked like he was fighting the urge to reach out with both hands and shake him for his stupidity.

"I don't give a damn whether you feel like going or not, you _will_ go because it is Headmaster Dumbledore's orders," he replied as calmly as he could – which wasn't much.

"I don't much feel up to the trip. I think I'll just stay here the rest of the summer," Harry said carelessly, turning to look back at his clock.

"Since when have you ever wanted to stay in this Muggle home?" Snape asked suspiciously.

"I'm not too sure. Never, I would guess," Harry answered lightly. It struck him as funny that he was telling the truth and a snort escaped.

"Get up. We are leaving, and I don't have time to waste standing here waiting around for a stupid boy with no thoughts spared but for himself," Snape ordered, his wand clutched in his hand and it quivered eagerly, prepared for action.

"I guess," Harry said monotonously, finally garnering the energy to slip from his bed. He had forgone wearing the ragged clothing the Dursley's handed down to him in favor of sleeping nude. He ignored Snape's glare, grabbing his extra large trousers and sliding them over his thin hips (forgoing his Dudley-used boxers), before casually slipping on a white t-shirt that had seen better days. He didn't care to search for socks, and instead just shoved his feet into a pair of trainers that had been duct-taped to keep the soles from falling off, and turned to look expectantly at the looming professor.

"Ready," he said. He just stared at the tall professor, blinking tiredly.

"Are you really, Potter?" Snape murmured, moving on silent feet to stand before Harry, towering over the boy who, while he was having a definite growth spurt, was still too short for his age. "I figured that the great Harry Potter thought himself too good to follow the orders of anyone."

"I can follow orders," Harry said, his face tilted upwards in what would have been a guileless gesture had it not been for the dim fire in his eyes.

"You are a follower, Potter, a mere sheep among the wolves. You have no idea of the real world," Snape whispered, staring down at the boy in obvious disgust.

"I am not a sheep!" Harry protested violently, stepping away from Snape with a twisted frown.

Snape merely raised an eyebrow before he turned his back on the boy, cast a locomotor charm on the boy's trunk, and coldly left the room.

While Harry followed the professor and his trunk, he cast a desperate glance at the door that zealously guarded the sleeping Dursley's. He wanted his Uncle to rage and stampede out the door like the furious bull that he could be, spitting obscenities about his _kind, _his freakish nature, his weirdness, and the queer attitude that all wizards shared. He wanted to see that cold rage fill Snape's dark eyes when a Muggle deigned to insult _him_, a potions master, and direct his loathing of him towards a new victim, Vernon Dursley. But the bull was asleep, unaware of the red flag waving before its closed eyes.

_I hate them so much. I wish they had died instead of Sirius,_ he thought, lowering his eyes towards the stairs he began to descend.

"You need to get over Black, Potter. He was not worth any feeling, and this pity you are wallowing in is a danger to us all," Snape said, speaking to himself as much to Harry while they descended the stairs stealthily, and Harry wondered how the man had known what he had been thinking.

"I suppose, professor," Harry agreed without much expression, biting his tongue so hard that he could taste the metallic sting of blood.

"You will drive yourself mad, Potter," Snape said quietly, without looking behind him to see if Harry was listening.

Harry didn't bother to respond, knowing the man hadn't expected an answer anyways. He could only grit his teeth; Sirius was worth more than ten of Snape, no matter what anyone else thought. He wanted to aim his wand directly at Snape's back and fire off curse after curse, to rage and rail against the man he considered at least partly responsible. He swallowed harshly, trying to keep his voice from emerging in the scream he could feel pushing at his tongue.

Snape strode over to the fireplace, removing the gate and checking his pocket watch. With a muttered spell, the small fireplace enlarged into a human sized Floo portal. His nostrils flared in distaste as he handed over a packet of Floo powder to Harry.

"Hurry up, go to Number 12 Grimmauld Place," Snape instructed brusquely.

Harry nodded, opening the packet to pour out the powder into his palm, throwing it into the fire with a rough "Number 12 Grimmauld Place", his voice catching for a moment as he stepped into the green flames.

Snape sighed at the tragic inconvenience pledging his loyalty to Albus Dumbledore was proving to be if he was being designated to playing nursemaid to a Potter.

With a roar of green flames that immediately disappeared after he stepped inside the fireplace, and the fireplace shrunk back it its original size, there was no trace of the two wizards that had disappeared from the house.

* * *

Harry appeared in the living room of the House of Black, stumbling from the fireplace and landing inelegantly on his knees with a rough tumble. He winced at the sting, but shakily got to his feet when he heard Snape make his own impeccable entrance.

"The Headmaster is waiting for you in the kitchen, boy. Go." Without another word, he turned sharply on his heel and left the house with an impressive swirl of his robes.

With an expression of dread, he entered to find the old Headmaster with his head bowed over his cup of tea, discontent written in the worry lines etched on his face.

"Professor," Harry whispered, waiting till he was bid to take a seat.

"Harry…Happy Birthday, my boy," Dumbledore said, trying – and failing- to make his voice cheery.

"I suppose it is," Harry said, shrugging, watching the old man carefully. He wondered why he had been taken from the Dursley's early; he usually had to wait until it was two weeks before the semester started before he was allowed anywhere. But, he realized sourly, he should have known this year it would be different.

"You are probably wondering why you were brought here early, Harry," Dumbledore said gently, looking as if he wanted to reach out to pat Harry's hand in comfort, but thought better of the motion. Harry was glad; he was afraid he would have snapped the man's hand into pieces if he had touched him. He wondered briefly if Dumbledore could see the desire in his eyes.

Harry nodded belated agreement of the Headmaster's observation.

"You were brought here because it is your birthday, Harry. And something very special is going to be happening today."

Harry raised an eyebrow, curious but trying to remain distant. His teeth were starting to ache from being clenched.

"Your father had to go through the same thing on his sixteenth birthday, as well as his father. It's been passed down to all the males of the Potter line, and it has been passed down to you as well Harry."

Harry stared back uncomprehendingly.

"Harry," Dumbledore sighed, "I know that this is a very stressful time for you right now, but you must listen to me. Through your bloodline, for many generations, there is a transformation of genes in the males in which their sixteenth birthday is the catalyst. We have tried to conduct research on the phenomenon, especially with the help of your father, but have never quite figured out why is has occurred only in the Potter line. But now, it is probably not as bad as I make it seem either," he reassured with a small chuckle.

Harry yawned.

"Mr. Potter," Dumbledore said sharply, "pay attention."

Harry nodded obediently.

"Mr. Potter, in the morning, you will transform at dawn into an animal called the Lupent."

Harry stared at him intently, before he asked slowly, "And what, exactly, is a Lupent?" He tried to take a calming breath, tried to tell himself it surely couldn't be as bad as it sounds. He wasn't turning into an animal; he wasn't, he really wasn't. This couldn't be happening.

Dumbledore snapped his fingers, and a thick, dusty tome appeared before him on the table. Coughing quietly, he opened the book carefully to the correct page before turning it around to face Harry. He leaned forward to take a look, his eyes narrowed, glaring at the page as if it were the cause of all his problems.

It was a drawing of a type of panther and wolf mixture: it had a pure white, thinly furred body except for the auburn colored fur socks, thickly furred tail, and pointed ears. Its long, sleekly curved body was similar to a panther, but had the thick tail and head shape of a wolf. It had thick muscles for pouncing if the legs and shoulders if the crouched figure was anything to go by, but the blunt muzzle was a distinct contrast to the slanted eyes. Harry squinted, trying to see what color the eyes were but it was blurred and wasn't colored well.

"It's beautiful," Harry whispered, tracing a finger along the delicate drawing. "But please don't tell me that this is true. I can't be turning into an animal. Please, don't say it," he pleaded, his eyes a cross between disbelief and a rising anger.

"It's a predator," Dumbledore answered softly. "It's beautiful, and it intelligent. It has the senses of a wolf, the strength of a panther. Its mind is strong willed, and unlike the Wolfsbane potion that Professor Snape is working on, there can be no potion for you."

"So I am to be a killer forever?" Harry asked angrily, rising to his feet with his fists clenched. The cups on the table began to rattle and shake ominously, but with a wave of his hand Dumbledore had it under control. "Are you saying I'll never be human again? Did you bring me here to kill me? How in the hell did this happen? Why wasn't I told of this before now? Where-"

Dumbledore raised a hand for silence, abruptly ending Harry's tirade before it begain. "No, Harry, I am not going to kill you. I brought you here to keep you safe. Your transformation will be at dawn during the time of the new moon. You will return to your human state when the sun begins to fall, and the moon is visible."

"Its not a new moon tonight," Harry said hopefully when he looked out the window. He got up to pace around the kitchen, his eyes glinting with fury and terror. "Why am I transforming now?"

Dumbledore sighed, looking down at his hands cradling the delicate china cup. "As I said, it is quite a mystery why a Lupent turns at sixteen. We can only assume that the animal inside of you emerges when it has hit a high point in sexual maturity. It is most…unique."

"Unique?" Harry sneered. "That's just a nice way of saying I'm going to be a beast, Professor."

"I suppose if you wish to think of it that way, Harry. But you have true strength of character where others would have failed, my boy," he answered, a tinge of sadness edging his words.

"I hate this! I hate that everyone depends on me," Harry yelled furiously. "I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask for any of this. I would rather have stayed a Muggle for the rest of my life if it meant no one would have died for me."

"No one is depending solely upon you, Harry; do not make the mistake of thinking you are alone. But indeed, you are a talented young man who will grow into a talented adult. Do not belittle the sacrifice your mother made for you," Dumbledore said calmly, but his fists were clenched on the table.

"I won't, Professor," Harry said coldly. "But I'll probably just end up dieing for this cause because it is, after all, what I have been created for, is it not? And now I'm the animal you want." He twisted his face away from the old man.

"Do not make yourself out to be a martyr, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore stated softly, his expression serene. "It is quite foolish."

"I _am_ a fool," Harry yelled. "And now I'm a monster."

Dumbledore said nothing.

* * *

It was only twenty minutes later when ex-Professor Remus Lupin stepped through the door of the ancient House of Black. Dumbledore and Harry had stayed in total silence, Harry prowling restlessly around the kitchen, refusing to look at the book Dumbledore had set down on the table. He had turned immediately around when Remus entered the kitchen, his eyes wide with unasked questions. Remus tried to smile comfortingly, but Remus had the notion it hadn't worked. Dumbledore fixed a pot of tea for them, giving him a nod and a brief smile.

"Hello Remus," Albus said in greeting, genuine pleasure coloring his voice. Remus said nothing when he saw Dumbledore's eyes take on a guarded look when glancing back towards Harry.

"Hello Albus," Remus replied softly. "Hello Harry."

"Hullo, Professor Lupin," Harry muttered, turning his face away from the man.

"So I hear you're going to going through some changes, Harry," Lupin said, gazing seriously at the boy.

"Yeah, I guess," Harry said shortly, unsure of what he should be saying while suppressing the urge to scream.

"Your father went through the same changes while he was at Hogwarts, Harry. James always said it was more like an animagus transformation than…than my own."

"Did he look like this, Professor?" he asked, pointing to the picture in the book.

Remus admonished lightly, "I am not your Professor anymore, Harry. You may call me Remus if you wish."

"Oh, okay Pro-I mean, Remus," Harry said. Remus could see the uneasiness in the boy's eyes, as well as the impotent rage that he had once seen in Sirius' eyes as well. It made his voice catch in his throat.

"Ah, yes, that is very similar to James," Remus said, answering his previous question. "His eyes were hazel of course, the same as his regular eye color. So in your transformation, you will still have your green eyes," he mentioned.

"Does this mean you actually got to see my father in this form?" Harry questioned, his anger seemingly diffused for the moment.

"Yes, I was one of the few that could," Remus said lightly, trying to clear away the slight hoarseness that had clouded his voice.

"My father didn't attack you like an animal?" Harry asked, his tone sarcastic and disbelieving.

"He told me he could smell the werewolf in my blood," Remus whispered. "He said that it made him feel comfortable, that it was a smell that the animal inside of him trusted. But when Padfoot was there as well, James attacked him, able to smell his fully human scent."

Harry snorted faintly, the muscle in his jaw pulling tight. Remus could tell he wanted to burst out in a furious tirade to get rid of the building emotion, but was trying to control himself. It wasn't working very well.

Harry nodded grimly in response to Lupin's answer. "It's interesting that my father could also transform as an animagus, and that it seems so different from his Lupent body."

Remus shrugged. "Actually, he said it was easier for him to learn how to be an animagus because he already had an animal inside of him. But we were never able to figure out how he went from being an overgrown cat to a stag," he remembered, smiling wearily.

Harry smiled weakly, before rubbing his face roughly with his hands. "This is all so confusing," he whispered, and Remus could see the dizzying whirl of emotions reflected in his eyes. Remus hesitated a moment before he laid his hands gently upon Harry's shoulders.

"I am sorry, Harry, that we never told you earlier. But with all that you've been through, we felt it best to hold off till your birthday was near," Dumbledore said softly from where he sat on the opposite side of the table. Remus gave his shoulders an encouraging squeeze.

"I will be with you during your times as a Lupent, Harry," Remus said softly.

"Why?" Harry asked, and though his voice was muffled, both men could hear him. They exchanged confused glances.

"Why wouldn't I Harry? Don't you want me there?" Remus questioned, a slightly hurt tone entering his voice that he tried to cover up yet could not.

"Why would you want to be with the person that killed your best friend?" Harry whispered painfully. He was aware of the dull silence that settled over the two other men.

"I don't blame you for Sirius' death, Harry," Remus stated firmly. "It was his choice to leave the safety of this house."

"No, it wasn't! It was my fault; if only I had remembered that mirror he gave me. If only I had been smarter, and realized that it was all a plan to lure me out. I'm such an idiot," Harry growled, blinking desperately as if trying to stem the prick of tears that threatened to fall.

He could hear Dumbledore stand up and exit quietly, before Remus pulled Harry roughly into an uncomfortable embrace.

"It was not your fault, Harry. It was not your fault." He repeated it over and over, rocking Harry gently back and forth, pushing the hair away from his heated face. But Harry only grimaced, struggling weakly to pull away and Remus let him go. Harry took a deep, shuddering breath, but his eyes were dry.

"It is my fault," Harry insisted, his voice catching painfully in his raw throat. "You don't have to pretend in front of me."

"No, no it isn't, nobody blames you, calm down," Remus murmured, feeling useless.

"How can you stand to touch me? I-I-I'm so sor-rry," Harry stuttered. His fingers curled in embarrassment at his obvious reaction.

"It's okay," Remus said, standing still in front of the boy. Harry seemed to sway on his feet, blinking rapidly. Still no tears fell, but he looked in danger of passing out. Slowly, making no sudden movements, he gathered the boy in a loose embrace, supporting him. "You don't have to be strong all the time, Harry," he whispered.

Harry buried his face into Remus' neck, breathing deeply. Remus patted the loose mop of snarled curls that Harry had inherited from his father, trying to stem his own surge of grief. He needed to be strong for the boy; he needed to let Harry know it was alright to let out the pain…and what was that smell?

"Are you feeling any better Harry?" Remus asked in concern, forgetting that brief wisp of scent that hat distracted him for a moment.

"I'm fine," he croaked, collapsing in a boneless, emotional heap at the table. He lowered his head to his arms, hiding his red face.

Remus smiled weakly in agreement, sitting in the chair beside him tiredly.

"Will you stay with me in the morning?" Harry whispered, suddenly terrified of changing into an animal alone.

"Of course I will Harry," Remus answered reassuringly, patting his hand gently. "I know how scary it is, especially the first time," he finished, his mouth tightening.

"How was it the first time when you…you know, if you don't mind me asking," Harry asked, waving his hand to make his point. He looked desperate for a subject change, but neither could even pretend to make banal conversation at this time. It was too important that Harry understand the world wasn't ending – but there would obviously be major changes in his life coming up. Remus remembered his own turning, he pain and terror he had endured for so long…

"I was very young Harry, only a child. It was easier…but it was so much harder," Remus said, his eyes glazing over as he seemed to get lost in his memories. "I was so frightened, and I was bitten during a time when there was no Wolfsbane Potion to take. My parents had to lock me in a cage during each full moon…I never got over the first time I smelled their fear of their own child."

Harry looked away guiltily. "I'm sorry for bringing it up."

"Its okay, Harry. I'm just glad that I can relate to you in some way, so that you aren't completely alone during this time."

"Like that would be anything new," Harry said bitterly, his eyes flashing.

Remus tried to hide a wince, and shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I think it would be best for you to go get some sleep, if you can. We'll wake you up before the sun begins to rise. So, just go up to the room you and Ron shared, the beds are still there from last summer."

"Okay, I'll see you in a few hours then," Harry said, a slightly sick smile twisting his mouth.

* * *

Harry passed Dumbledore on his way out, giving him a nod of acknowledgment before he left to climb the stairs to his room slowly. His thoughts were swirling wildly, the little amount of information he had received tonight combined with his destructive emotions draining him. He yawned widely before blinking in surprise since he hadn't realized felt sleepy, but knew he had to get a few hours of rest before dawn.

He threw off the dirty clothing he had hastily grabbed on his way out of the Dursley's, and setting his glasses on the bedside table, fell face first into his bed. Shivering slightly as the house was still damp from years of disuse, he shimmied underneath the thin sheets on his bed and immediately dropped off to sleep.

* * *

He dreamed that a dark, sweet scent was wafting in the air while he sat alone in the darkness of his room at the Dursley's. Though the window wasn't open, he breathed deeply, inhaling the essence that curled around and invaded his senses.

"You bloody freak, I won't put up with your cheek any longer. I'll be glad when Voldemort can get rid of you next year," Vernon Dursley sneered, standing in the open doorway of his room.

"Potter…" came a snarl behind him. He turned quickly to find Snape lingering near his window, his arm crossed over his chest in his most intimidating stance, sneering in delight at Harry's confusion. "You truly are a wild beast just like your father. Lupin, I'm sure, must be glad to have a partner to romp with during the full moon."

"But I don't change during the full moon Professor Snape," Harry tried to say in his own defense.

"What are you talking about you stupid boy? You're always going to be a Lupent from now on. You'll never be human again, not that you ever were anyways!" his uncle Vernon roared with sadistic amusement. Harry wondered how his uncle knew what he transformed into.

It was then he realized that he had already transformed. He tried to look back at himself, but all he could do was focus his eyes on the Potions Master that stood in front of him.

"You insolent little boy, you finally get what you deserve," Snape sneered. Harry inhaled deeply, trying to ignore the alluring scent emanating from the Professor standing before him. It wasn't the same sweet scent he had smelled earlier, but it was just as potent.

But then the smell returned, and this time it was from the werewolf now standing in his doorway, sniffing the air eagerly. It was huge; approximately the size of an adolescent bear, it completely blocked any chance of escape that Harry may have entertained. Harry turned his body away from the man scowling down at him, and walked confidently towards the wolf in curiosity. It regarded him warily for a second before it before it bounded towards him playfully.

Harry could sense the dominant blood of the creature as it neared, and automatically huddled on the floor submissively, his head lying flat on the floor. The amber and silver werewolf smiled at him in amusement, his tongue lolling out of his mouth while he sniffed at Harry with interest. Harry, sensing no danger, raised his head to smell the werewolf before him. It was intoxicating.

He stood, stretching his long, sinuous body, before returning to his previous inspection. He was just about to walk forward to investigate further, when he felt someone shaking him roughly.

"Harry…Harry, wake up please," a voice called calmly, echoing deeply in the shadows of his semi-unconsciousness. He snuggled more firmly into his pillow, wanting to return to the dream with the large wolf.

"Harry, it's almost time, you need to wake up," the warm voice insisted, and his shoulder was shaken again.

Harry abruptly jerked awake, sitting up stiffly, his eyes darting around the room. When they landed on Remus, he relaxed slightly and stretched.

"Hey Pro-Remus," he said hoarsely, "is it time already?"

"Yes, Harry, please follow me," he answered grimly, gesturing towards the door.

"Okay, well…just let me get some clothes on," Harry said, realizing he didn't want to get out of bed completely naked in front of Remus. He was suddenly shy, more aware of his surroundings than he had been earlier that night with Snape.

Harry could have sworn he saw a smile twitch the corners of Remus' lips before he turned around, complying with Harry's wishes.

Harry dressed quickly in a pair of old navy blue sweat pants that were lying on top of his trunk that stood at the end of his bed. Forgoing underwear like before, he simply pulled them on, and grabbed the white shirt he had worn earlier.

"Okay, I'm ready," Harry called out, padding quietly after Remus as they left the room. "Where are we going to anyways?"

"Dumbledore has prepared a room for us, warded so that you can't get out. For added protection, he gave me the unlocking spell so that I may leave if you do not…take…to me," he said smoothly as he led them down the darkened hallway.

They climbed another set of stairs at the end of the corridor that led to the third floor, and made his way down another deserted corridor.

"Isn't this the part of the house where Buckbeak stayed?" Harry asked hesitantly.

"Buckbeak has been moved to a safer location with someone who can care for him full time. There was no promise that there would always be someone in this house to oversee his health," Remus replied, his voice slightly hoarse all of a sudden.

"I'm sorry," Harry said, his voice low.

"Do not," Remus said, turning around almost violently to face him. "Do not apologize one more time for Sirius' death."

"Okay Remus," Harry said quietly, slightly intimidated. "I won't."

Remus took a deep breath. "It was not your fault. I do not blame you. But I cannot help missing him, even though I have had twelve years to mourn his absence."

Harry swallowed hard and could not offer a reply, but luckily Remus did not expect one. He led him to the large attic that Buckbeak had stayed in, though it had been cleaned up for their use.

"Where did Dumbledore go?" Harry asked idly as he moved to stand by the tiny window that overlooked the front yard and gazed down at the Muggles homes that neatly lined the street.

"He's downstairs in the kitchen. He'll stay until he's sure that we are alright, and then he will leave to return to Hogwarts."

Harry nodded indifferently. He hadn't really cared, but it had seemed like a good question to ask.

He watched as the darkness on the horizon was stroked to life with tendrils of light, its silky color like fingers spearing through thick black hair. He was reminded of Sirius' hair, how when they had first met, it had been lanky and twisted in knots around his head, years of grease dampening it to his skull. It would have been gross to touch, Harry imagined, but after he had moved into the Order headquarters, it had become much cleaner.

"You smell nice," Harry said suddenly, turning away from the window to watch Remus, who stood calmly against the wall with his arms crossed. Harry was reminded of Snape this time.

"That's good, I can only imagine what you would do if I smelled awful," Remus teased good-naturedly.

"I like it. It smells…dark…and sweet," he said before blushing heatedly at his own forwardness. Remus smiled gently at him, but said nothing.

Harry moved to prowl around the room, occasionally looking through the windows, or examining furniture, but avoided looking at Remus as often as possible. As the sun began to rise more and more, though, he found he could not tear his gaze from the werewolf. That smell…that cloying scent made his mouth water and his heart beat faster.

"Are you alright Harry?" Remus asked in concern, moving away from his lounging position to stand before him. He pushed Harry's hair away from his forehead to feel the skin, noticing the heated flush that stained the boy's cheeks bright red.

"Sit down Harry, and try to remain calm. The transformation will be happening shortly," Remus said, helping Harry recline on the floor uncomfortably.

Finally, the sun shone through the small windows in the nearly empty attic, and Harry could feel the heat rising off his body. His senses were suddenly heightened, the smell of Remus so close making him moan, the bright sun hurting his sensitive eyes.

"Calm down, Harry, just remain calm," Remus said soothingly, but Harry could smell the worry in his words and his sweat.

Harry stretched, trying to alleviate the cramps that had begun to tighten the muscles in his legs and back. Though it didn't hurt it ached unpleasantly, and Harry could feel a tingle begin from his toes and work its way up through his body.

When it felt as if it had reached the tips of the hair on his head, he groaned in discomfort, arching off the hard wooden floor. Digging his heels into the wood, he ran his fingers over his body, discovering the knotted muscles with belated interest.

The heat…it was almost unbearable. Nobody had told him about the heat…he began sweating profusely, and wiggled out of his sweat pants immediately. He wasn't embarrassed at Remus being able to see his nude body; he was only worried at getting the sticky clothing off of his body. Pulling the shirt over his head, he writhed sensuously, happy to be free from the restricting cloth. He threw his glasses away once he realized they were only hindering his sight, and Remus pocketed them carefully to keep them from being damaged.

"Are you okay Harry?" Remus questioned, trying to keep his eyes from drifting down the lean, naked boy. It was hard when the muscles gleamed with droplets of sweat in the early morning sun, his slightly diluted werewolf senses almost overloading from the amount of hormones the boy seemed to be producing.

He moaned, turning onto his belly and rubbing his body against the still cool wooden floor. "So…hot…" he panted. He could feel an aching erection pulsing against the wood, but was too distracted to be embarrassed.

Remus could do nothing but stare helplessly while the boy dragged his body across the slowly warming wood.

Suddenly there was the loud crack, and the change began more rapidly. Harry's legs bent forming the haunches of a large cat, his hands forming large paws with long nails, and sprouted a thin layer of pale white fur on his arms. His paws were more of rusty auburn color, and the sensitive pads of his paws were pink and un-callused. A tail began to sprout from his tailbone, and it too was sprinkled liberally near the ends with auburn colored hair.

His ribs widened and his waist grew thick with lean, catlike muscles as his back hunched when his body adapted to become a four-legged mammal. Remus watched avidly as his neck thickened and his spinal cord shift under his skin to move at the back of his skull, no longer entering the cranium from the bottom. His nose became a pronounced snout, lacking the long, thick whiskers cats had for balance but instead the short whiskers of a dog. His eyes slanted and slightly separated while they widened and became almond shaped. His ears, one of the last things to change, condensed and became pointed, shifting their way to the top of his shapely head, cocked and swiveling in excitement.

And there sprawled out before him, was Harry Potter. A Lupent.

* * *

Harry's eyes were slowly opened as he automatically sniffed the air in terrified bemusement when the beast within him took over. He no longer controlled his body, but instead the Lupent raised its nose into the air, inhaling deeply to garner more of the scent that swirled around the room. Harry watched impassively from the back of his own mind as he turned his head to look at Remus who knelt beside his elongated body in concern.

"Harry?" he asked softly. "Are you okay?"

Harry couldn't force the animal to respond, but watched rather helplessly as it got to its feet to test its strength and balance. Finding he was adapting rather quickly to this new body, the animal went to inspect the unmoving Remus Lupin. The Lupent growled a deep warning to the man-werewolf, advising him to be still.

Remus watched tensely while Harry-who-was-no-longer-Harry approached him cautiously, sniffing the air delicately, curiously. He held out a hand when it appeared that it wouldn't attack him suddenly and without warning, and watched apprehensively as it stuck its snout into his cupped palm.

Suddenly the Lupent made a strange purring bark, snuffling closer to the man, licking the palm of his hand it its excitement. Harry could tell Remus had relaxed, already more comfortable with the playful Lupent in front of him. Remus seemed to watch in amusement while the Lupent began sniffing his shoes, nosing his ankles in interest, and grunting its pleasure, suddenly shoved its nose into his crotch.

Harry thought he could have shriveled up with embarrassment from his helpless position inside the animal's mind. But he had to admit, the werewolf smell was enticing, and the closer he was to the scent, the better. But the Lupent could also sense Remus' sudden stiffness, and the scent of the man's own embarrassment became clear as well as his sudden arousal.

000000-

Remus could feel the flood of blood sent straight to his groin at the sudden pressure of the head between his legs. He flushed brightly before gently removing the head from his lap, and closed his legs. The animal didn't seem to care, moving onward to explore his chest and underneath his armpits, but Remus couldn't seem to relax again.

"Hmm, well I suppose I'm going to have to find something to call you, won't I Harry?" Remus laughed softly, rubbing his fingers between the cocked, pointed ears on top of the animal's head.

The Lupent let out a strange sort of gurgle as it rubbed against Remus' knees to show its approval. He rubbed his large body around as much of Remus as he could reach, the Lupent's own scent now clinging and mingling with his own.

"Harry…" Remus said gently, trying to get his attention. But Harry paid no attention to his calling, continuing to wind its body over his own kneeling form.

"Kitten, calm down," Remus chuckled and it seemed to get through to the animal, for he backed away, staring into Remus' eyes with his glittering green eyes that held small pupils marking that it was a diurnal animal decorating the center.

Harry gurgled happily before licking a paw, thereby exposing his large fangs for inspection, and lifted his damp paw to his face to groom his slightly ruffled fur. Remus watched him contently for a moment, before noticing a small zigzag of fur near one of his ears. He shifted a little closer, moving slowly so as not to startle the large cat-wolf, and gently scratched the rusty red fur near his ear, noticing with only faint amusement the white lightening bolt in the fur.

"You still have your scar, Harry," Remus said conversationally, hoping that on some level Harry could hear him. "It's very faint though, and you wouldn't find it unless you were actively searching for it."

The cat looked back at him, uncaring of what the human seemed to be saying, more interested in the weird smell coming from other areas of the room. It smelled part bird and part horse, a queer combination that confused the cat-wolf for only a moment, before it excitedly began sniffing as it moved lithely around the room, stretching its legs.

Suddenly, Remus watched curiously as the cat stiffened, crouching defensively on the ground, its shining green eyes trained directly upon the door to the attic. It sniffed, its nostrils flaring and its eyes taking on a red glint in the sunlight. It growled threateningly, it's muscles preparing to pounce at any second.

"Remus? How is Harry doing in there?" came the light words of the Headmaster from outside the door.

The Lupent let out a deafening roar and pounced against the door, its claws exposed and scrabbling madly on the magically enforced wooden door, trying desperately to find a purchase and tear the door of its hinges. Finding that its deadly nails were not affecting the stubborn door at all, it began to throw its body against the strong deterrent in hopes of shattering the wood.

"He's fine, he won't hurt me, but perhaps it would be better if you left," Remus called out helpfully to the enquiring Headmaster.

"Yes, yes, just making sure you were both well, and by the sounds of it, Harry is a healthy Lupent," came the calm, unruffled reply. "I'll see both of you tonight."

Remus could hear him stepping evenly away from the door and disappearing down the deserted corridor. Harry didn't immediately calm down, the ruffled fur on the back of his neck still bristling in anticipation, and his wrinkled, growling muzzle pulled back to reveal sharp fangs. He prowled in front of the door, sniffing eagerly at the thin crack between the floorboards and the door, red nostrils flared.

"Come away from the door, Harry," Remus urged, beckoning him closer. But Harry could not force his body to move away, and the man's words instead seemed to urge the Lupent to butt its head against the door once again. Shifting fluidly, the Lupent thrust his shoulders against the magically locked doorknob, pushing upward in an effort to break it off.

Irritated at finding his actions impeded, the Lupent grumbled in disappointment, gnawing on the steel knob in frustration.

Remus sighed and settled more comfortable against the opposite wall, watching in detached fascination at the creature before him. Harry reminded him fondly of James, and he noticed the same mannerisms in Harry that his father had had. A certain cock of the head, a flick of the ears, a narrowing of its eyes…it was like being transported back into time.

Harry sent Remus a dirty glare before he finally strolled away from the door. Nuzzling Remus with his large head, he wrapped his paws around Remus' feet as he settled on the rapidly warming floor between the man's legs, idly trying to untie the strings of his raggedy trainers with a distended nail. Harry flopped to his belly and rolled onto his back, wordlessly demanding a belly rub. Remus complied, rubbing his fingers briskly over the exposed white underbelly, smiling at the huff of feline laughter Harry let out when he evidently reached a ticklish spot.

* * *

It was beginning to near late afternoon, and the sun was beginning to wane as the day passed reluctantly into night. Remus and Harry had spent the entire afternoon discovering the potential stored inside the Lupent's body, which had meant he had spent the time sniffing the sparse furniture before ripping it apart, staring out the window in boredom before trying to shatter the glass, chewing on the shredded pieces of leftover furniture, and getting belly rubs from Remus.

Remus felt badly about the lack of stimulating activity, but there was no way Harry could be loose among full-blooded humans. His brief experience with the smell of Dumbledore only proved his instability around anyone other than Remus.

Since it was nearing time for the transformation back into his human self, Harry seemed to be getting antsy. He was pacing agitatedly back and forth in front of the door, and from time to time standing on his haunches to peer out the window. It was during his time near the window when Harry happened to glance out of the pane of glass and noticed the Potions Master entering through the front door and into the foyer. Harry immediately bounded towards the door, sniffing anxiously near the cracks in the door, impatient for some action.

Remus, noticing his sudden burst of energy, had also come closer to the door to listen to the faint thud of footsteps on the stairs. He looked down at the animal that easily reached his waist, watching the Lupent for any signs of aggression. But instead, Harry whined in the back of his throat, scratching lightly on the door in a good-natured expression of interest.

"Who's there?" Remus called out through the door, and Harry raised his eyes eagerly to the werewolf.

"It's Snape," called the man in question as he cautiously stopped in front of the door. "Is the boy still in his animal form? It doesn't sound like it."

"No…he still is," Remus answered, sounding genuinely puzzled.

"Oh…then I suppose I should just wait downstairs for you to be finished," Snape said smoothly, preparing to turn and walk away.

But Harry evidently had other plans. He growled low in his throat, scratching more insistently at the door, begging Remus with his eyes to be let out.

"What is it, kitten?" Remus asked, smiling down at the half cat-half wolf animal.

Harry whined impatiently before reaching up with his paws, futilely trying to turn the knob of the door.

"What is it? What's going on with that blasted boy?" Snape asked sounding intrigued despite his apparent disgust.

"He seems to want to be let out," Remus said, shrugging his shoulders down at Harry. Harry flashed his teeth, butting his head against Remus' leg in a way that clearly said, _and you're no help_.

"Don't let that beast out if he's going to attack me!" Snape cried, panic a clear undertone to his naturally silky voice.

"I don't think he's going to, Severus," Remus answered calmly. "But don't worry, I won't let him out."

"Of course," Snape sneered, but there was evident relief in his voice. He sounded as if he were beginning to walk away, when Harry roared loudly, scratching at the door.

"What is it?" Remus asked, puzzled. But Harry could not respond, and flattened his body on the ground, his nose as close to the invisible crack in the door as possible. The Lupent whined low in his throat, begging for something Remus could not give.

Remus could hear Snape take a tentative step towards the door, and Harry immediately perked up. A low, rumbling purr poured out of its mouth while it panted, still furiously sniffing at the door.

"What's going on with it?" Snape asked through the door, his voice coolly investigative.

"I don't know," Remus said in frustration. "He seems to want to smell you."

"It doesn't sound like he's as crazy as a werewolf," Snape said, and Remus could already visualize the sneer marring the man's pale features.

"Believe me, he's nearly just as dangerous as one," Remus said, so quietly that he didn't think Snape could have heard him. But the man managed to surprise him once again.

"Is the boy still at the door?" he asked cautiously.

"Yes…" Remus answered slowly, his eyebrows cocked in thought. Harry had gone still and silent, eyes trained fiercely on the doorway.

"Would he attack me if you were to open the door?" Snape asked, his voice lowered as if to encourage non-violent thoughts in the animal.

"Harry would not. The Lupent…I'm not so sure," Remus answered truthfully.

"Does he seem as if he were about to?" Snape pressured. Remus frowned, wondering why the man that was so deadly afraid of him was seeking to enter the room.

"I suppose not," he said.

"Then allow me entrance to the room."

"Why?" Remus immediately asked, concerned.

Snape did not answer for a long moment, but finally said, "It concerns a potion I may be working on shortly. I need some of his hair transformed."

"Oh."

Remus wasn't quite sure what to do. On one hand, Remus could just as easily have gotten the hairs for the Potion's professor, and it would be much safer. But what if the man needed to witness the transformation to help make a potion suitable for Harry to control the mind of the Lupent? Then again, he hadn't needed to see a werewolf transform when he had improved the Wolfsbane potion.

"Just let me in Lupin. If he attacks me, I'll get out as quickly as possible, you can be assured," Snape said dryly.

"Well…okay then," Remus said, uncomfortable for the man to be coming into a potentially dangerous situation but unable to stem his own curiosity.

When he opened the door, exposing Snape, Harry let out a happy gurgle. It was the half bark-half purr sound that Remus would forever associate with the happy Lupent. Remus hurriedly pulled the man inside the room, before soundly closing and locking the door behind the Potions Professor.

"Keep that thing away from me in case it attacks," Severus growled, backing away from the advancing Lupent. But Harry followed calmly, watching the man with hooded eyes while he lowered his muzzle to sniff daintily at the Potion Master's shoes. Harry let out a sigh, nuzzling his face happily into Snape's quivering flanks similar to the way he had earlier that morning with Remus.

"What is the beast doing, Lupin? I'm sure you have much more experience with animals than I would," Severus sneered, brushing Harry's head away from where he lingered dangerously near his crotch. Remus had to smother a smile at the thought of the man's traumatized face if Harry had continued to do what he had done earlier.

"I believe he's just trying to mark his scent on you, as a way of identifying you as his territory, and therefore not a threat," Remus replied, watching Harry's actions closely.

Severus sneered in distaste, wiping ineffectually at his pant legs, before crossing his arms imperiously.

"So, why is he not attacking me? I understand why _you_ would be safe," here he paused with a malevolent smirk, "but I am not a Dark Creature."

"I don't understand it either, but I'm sure Harry will be able to explain once he has changed," Remus said, stroking his chin thoughtfully. Apparently through with his inspection, Harry strolled around the room indolently, stopping every now and then to rub against the legs of both men, before wandering on to look out the window again.

"He truly is an odd boy," Snape muttered irritably, crossing his arms and leaning back against the doorway in a stance designed to make the most of his imposing height. But Remus noted with dim shock that Severus hadn't really tried to escape – indeed, who would pass up the chance to see a magical creature this dangerous up close without threat of serious maiming?

"I suppose I must get this over with now. Come here boy," Snape beckoned irritably, but Remus could still see the smirk on the man's face as the Lupent obeyed the command without too much fuss. Harry stood still while Snape plucked a few of his hairs, collected a small amount of his saliva, and took some notes on the strange mix of features.

0000-

Finally, half an hour later the transformation began again. Harry stretched out on the floor, rubbing his lithe form against the afternoon-heated floorboard of the attic, shivering slightly as sweat dampened his fur and chilled his body. He could feel his muscles tightening in cramps before becoming shorter and squatter to those of a regular human. Harry could already feel his body weakening as his body became smaller, his spinal cord changing into that of a bipedal human and shifting to connect at the bottom of his cranium once again.

His fur also shed to lie in clumps on the sweat-stained floor, and his paws reformed into hands and feet, the claws retracting into small nails. The Lupent roared its disapproval of the situation, and both Remus and Snape winced at the sheer volume, clapping their hands over their ears protectively. Remus watched carefully as the last changes began to occur, while Snape coolly categorized the differences in human physiology the Lupent represented for future reference while gathering the extra pieces of its discarded hair.

When Harry finally lay sprawled naked where the Lupent had once lain, he blinked blearily up at the two men that stood hovering above him. "Uh…hi?" he croaked in bemusement, his muscles still trembling from the aftershocks of such an intense first changing.

"How are you feeling Harry?" Remus questioned gently, smoothing the ruffled bangs away from his eyes before handing him the glasses he had discarded earlier.

"I'm okay, just a little shaky is all," he mumbled. They were all silent for a moment, staring at each other before Harry happened to glance down and catch sight of his nude body, and an embarrassed flush crept down his face and neck. "Could I have my clothes please?" he squeaked, his hands cupped over his privates protectively.

Snape bent over, coolly picking up the ragged material of his clothing before tossing them negligently towards the humiliated boy. "If you call those pieces of rubbish clothing…" he trailed off, raising his eyebrow in disdain before turning his back to both of them.

Harry, as quickly as humanly possible, thrust his legs into his pants with one hand while simultaneously pulling his shirt over his head with the other. The result had him hopelessly tangled, Snape snorting with derisive amusement, and Remus desperately trying to restrain his smile.

"Here, let me help you with that Harry," Remus suggested, helping the boy straighten out his clothing against mumbled objections.

"Merlin, the boy can't even dress himself properly, and he's supposed to save us all? We're all doomed," Severus sneered, watching with blatant enjoyment as Harry's face paled in furious rage.

"Shut up, you greasy-haired bastard, why don't you just get the hell out of here. You're not wanted," Harry snarled through gritted teeth, ignoring Lupin's startled expression of dismay.

"Unfortunately for both of us, _Potter_, I am under strict orders to stay. Professor Dumbledore seems to feel you would benefit from my expertise, though I told him you were…shall we say, not quite up to adequate standards."

"All I see is Dumbledore trying to punish me," Harry grumbled under his breath, but Snape managed to catch the drift of it.

"You're probably right, Potter. If you had paid any attention to your studies of Occlumency, your idiot godfather and that beasts' lover would still be alive."

There was dead silence in the room, Snape's face carefully blank though his eyes glittered balefully at the stunned men. Remus' breath caught in his throat and he averted his eyes from the young boy that stared at him in disbelief.

"You hypocrite," Harry hissed once he had regained his equilibrium, absorbing the punishing impact of the Professor's words. He tried to ignore the fact that his guilt was making his chest itch and his eyes sting. Not only had he taken the life of Remus' best friend, but to find out it was also his lover…

He could only find solace in attacking the man responsible for his current pain. "You were the one who egged him on; you were always making those snide comments about his inability to leave this fucking house. You might as well be blamed right beside me," he roared, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"Control your tongue, Potter," Severus remarked unperturbedly while studying the stained tips of his fingers.

"I'll say anything I damn well want to say, you bloody bastard," Harry snarled, furiously wishing he had his wand with him.

_You don't need it…_

Harry shrugged off the thought and the accompanying vision of himself throttling a purple-faced Potion's Master.

_Kill him…_

Harry disregarded the urge that was beginning to overtake him, but he could feel his limbs grow heavy with his continued resistance. He didn't want to kill anyone at all despite his wishful thinking.

"It's your own thoughtlessness that got that imbecile killed, and I for one was glad to see him go," Severus smirked with diluted happiness at the wounded expression on both of their faces.

_Kill him…he is responsible…_

Harry's subconscious seemed to agree and without warning his eyes went red in his rage and his mind went blank.

* * *

"Harry! Harry, wake up," a worried Remus Lupin stressed gently, shaking his shoulders lightly. A sharp slap with a vicious palm suddenly struck him across the face, whipping his head to the side and giving his nerve endings an explosive twinge that shot down his spine.

"Severus, back away!" came the harsh reprimand from Albus Dumbledore. Though Harry couldn't see him, he would recognize that voice anywhere, and the pressure of magic was strong in the room.

"Harry, you must wake up now," came the much softer voice of the Headmaster.

Harry eyes gingerly fluttered open, quickly taking stock that he was once again laying on the floor and there were bruises spread liberally across his entire body.

"What happened?" he groaned groggily, slowly sitting up and lifting a hand to the side of his face that sported a large, welting handprint.

"We were hoping you could tell us, Harry," Lupin answered in Dumbledore's stead, rubbing a soothing hand down his back.

"I don't know…one minute I was arguing with Snape about Sirius…and I heard this strange voice…and then it went black," he finished uneasily, shrugging his gangly shoulders weakly.

"What voice did you hear, Harry?" Dumbledore asked quietly, stroking a hand absent-mindedly down his long white beard.

Harry shrugged again, not able to answer. He hadn't known whose voice it was.

"Was it Voldemort, Harry?" he questioned again seriously.

Harry slowly shook his head whispering, "It didn't seem like it, Professor."

"Then you have no idea who it was?" Dumbledore asked urgently.

Beginning to become irritated, he shook his head violently, before wavering woozily from the pounding headache he had suddenly gained. _I must have hit my head on the floor when I fell_, he thought dizzily.

"I'm sorry Professor Lupin, about earlier," Harry suddenly apologized, remembering how he had stuck his face into the man's crotch. He blushed in embarrassment at the memory, wishing he could sink through the attic floor at the moment.

But Remus only shook his head in befuddlement. "About what Harry? You didn't do anything."

"When I was the Lupent…I…well…you know," Harry shrugged for the third time, feeling like a useless lump on the floor.

Remus, still confused, only shook his head, clearly not understanding.

"I didn't have any control over it," Harry stressed, darting his eyes down the ex-Professor's body.

Remus, suddenly understanding, flushed dimly as well before nodding slowly. "It's okay Harry, I knew that it was most likely the animal inside of you that did…it."

"Harry-" Dumbledore suddenly interrupted, everyone ignoring the snort Snape uttered from where he lurked in the darkest corner of the attic. Since night had long since fallen from his turning, there were a lot of places the man could hide. "During your time as the Lupent, did you at _any_ time have control over your body?"

"No, not really Professor, but I didn't really expect to have any," Harry said lamely.

"Of course you wouldn't, Potter," Snape sneered, finally deigning to speak. "If you can't even master Occlumency, how will you ever be able to control that beast inside of you?"

"That's an excellent idea, Severus. You shall begin teaching Harry again at once," Dumbledore said happily, his hands clasped together while he beamed his goodwill at all of them.

Harry and Severus both gaped at the man, before turning to glare at one another.

"Good going, _Professor_, now I'm stuck with you again," Harry muttered angrily.

Severus had just opened his mouth to return with a suitably acerbic reply when he was interrupted by a cough by both Lupin and Dumbledore.

"Now gentlemen, there's no need for fighting. Harry, you must learn Occlumency if you wish to even begin to control the Lupent inside of you; you are a danger to those around you if you cannot. And Severus, it's time to put your hatred of his father aside; Harry is not James, and its time you both moved beyond the past. Now, I want Harry to go up to his room and get some rest, and Severus, I want you to go back to Hogwarts and calm down. We will talk about this later, when you are both feeling more like yourselves." Dumbledore's tone brooked no argument, and Harry swiftly left the room, Severus hot on his heels to escape; he grumbled something about being surrounded by good-for-nothing Gryffindors in the damn house, and could stand it no longer.

"I'm glad you were able to get here in time, Albus," Remus remarked softly when the two had left the room. "We could not find Harry."

"I know, I'm very worried about him, Remus," Dumbledore answered calmly. "But we shall do all in our power to help the boy."

Remus was silent for a moment, contemplating all that had happened. Once Severus had begun to taunt Harry, he had noticed a difference in the boy's scent due to his heightened senses. It had seemed to Remus to smell bitter and hate filled, and when he had lunged for Snape's throat, his eyes had been wild, tinted blood red and his teeth bared in a snarl. Severus was a strong man, but it had been impossible for him to fight Harry off; he had been animalistic, and his strength had tripled inhumanly. If it hadn't been for Dumbledore's arrival, Severus would have probably died in the attic as Harry tried to strangle the man, spitting and shouting and roaring in his blind pain.

"Do you think the Dark Lord had anything to do with Harry losing control?"

"I'm not sure, Remus. It's a very real possibility…but I'm hesitant to label this as Voldemort's work. We shall just have to wait and see."

* * *

Word count: 10,439

A/N: -whew- more to come, check for updates


	2. Chapter 2

**Title**: The Lupent

**Author**: Regal Baring

**Disclaimer**: I don't own, JKR does (which incidentally means no profit for me), I just twist them for my wonderful, evil pleasure.

**Pairing**: HP/SS, HP/RL

**Warning**: AU, explicit slash, homoerotic content between men!

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**Chapter 2**

_The Summer Hols_

On August third, only a few days after his first transformation, Harry was once again secluded in the attic, his Changing occurring on the real New Moon. Remus once again accompanied him during his transformation.

He felt the sweltering heat coil inside of his bones again, and he gritted his teeth helplessly. His senses were on fire, his nose twitching with the impact of several smells conflicting for precedence, and as Remus hovered close by, he could smell the wolf inside of the man.

"Remus," Harry panted, "it's so hot."

"I know Harry, its okay. Just relax, don't fight the change," Remus whispered encouragingly while keeping his eyes carefully averted.

Harry's hair grew thicker, sprouting across his naked body, the black morphing into a pale cream color with hints of red. His bones cracked, his legs lengthened and grew thicker, his body reformed, and in only a few more moments, an adolescent Lupent stood proudly in the dawning sunlight.

"Harry," Remus said softly, "you look brilliant."

The Lupent nodded its head regally, sniffing cautiously at the air before slumping once it recognized the room. Prowling despondently around the room, it irritably swung its paw at a broken chair stashed in the corner of the room.

The Lupent settled on its belly, gnawing curiously on the leg of the chair while his fluffy wolf tail swished through the air in a decidedly feline way.

"I know, I'm sorry you're going to be bored all day," Remus said, shrugging apologetically and settling against the wall.

The Lupent grumbled before cracking the leg between his jaws in one smooth snap.

--------------------

The next few weeks passed along rather harmlessly in Harry's opinion. It was almost…anti-climatic. It was the middle of August, and as he began to feel like the school year was looming ever closer, Harry grew edgy and snappish for no real reason he could discern. Though he knew he shouldn't take it out on poor Remus, who had been rather calm despite Harry's attitude, he could hardly contain his feelings of ill will.

The morning of the full moon dawned like any other day. Harry knew that the new moon was drawing ever closer and it would only be another few weeks until it arrived at the beginning of next month, which also happened to be when school resumed. Dumbledore had already made arrangements for Harry to be taken to school early, skipping the train in lieu of a well-protected room at Hogwarts.

But on this particular morning he felt rather…nice. He had noticed his hormones had kicked into high gear recently; for example, while his chest hair was almost non-existent, the rest wasn't as sparse as it was before. He had also had a growth spurt, growing another inch or so, but he knew he would always remain rather small. While it wasn't much to brag about, he felt rather proud all the same.

He had almost become worried over the past year: wouldn't it be just like him to be a freak even with his hormones? He hadn't really felt the pull of attraction Ron seemed to be consumed by, only vaguely aware of the opposite sex in a sort of abstracted way. When he had turned fifteen, he had felt like he had had the libido of a first year but with a bit more frustration when he woke up with sticky sheets and hazy memories.

His dreams had become rather odd in the past few months as well. No longer did he blushingly dream of the girls in his year (though he had never totally felt _that_ way, he was still normal he consoled himself), but had become rather taken with a pair of broad shoulders, and found himself leaning more towards auburn colored hair in his fantasies.

He woke up after a particularly vivid dream dealing with that sweet, invigorating scent that had regularly begun to invade his subconscious. He had imagined he and Moony had been chasing each other through the Forbidden Forest during the full moon; of course, it could only be a dream, Harry thought agitatedly, for he could never change during the evening. It was only during the day, he remembered, that he would have his transformations while the moon was hidden.

As he was gradually awakened, he found himself already at half-mast and casually stroking his prick through his pajamas. He unconsciously gripped it tightly with his right hand through the soft flannel, rubbing it roughly, and the friction was delightfully warming against skin already tender and flush with his blood.

He moaned softly, trying to keep his voice down as he finally surrendered to the urge and released his aching cock from the restraints of his clothing. He panted harshly when the sudden burst of cool air brushed its invisible fingers across the shining, angry head of his penis. He watched, fascinated, as the flushed skin of his prick tightened, the veins pumping his blood thick with arousal. He could feel his testicles tightening painfully in impending orgasm when he began pumping with increasing fervor.

Licking his lips, he arched his back, thrusting into his fist fiercely and shivering at the pleasure pooling in his abdomen, the muscles in his thighs quivering as he bucked off the mattress. With his eyes closed, he imagined a faceless, shapeless body watching him from the doorway, the scent of dark arousal wafting upon the air and inflaming his heightened senses. Slowly, his imagination took shape, with brief flashes of auburn hair graying at the temples and honey colored eyes gleaming from the darkness, a hoarse moan of approval…

"Ohh," he groaned suddenly, surprising himself. "So good, so…_Remus_, oh god, Remus!" Shuddering, he clenched his fist, and with only a few more tugs and thrusts, he spurted his climax across his belly and hand, still twitching with the orgasm ripping through his body.

"Merlin," he mumbled, quivering in his afterglow and his mind going dim, "that was brilliant."

------------------

Remus had casually been on his way to wake Harry up for breakfast when he heard the breathy moans and the sensual shift of the sheets echo eerily quiet from behind the closed door. He knew it was only his acute senses that enabled him to hear the intensely private experience of Harry pleasuring himself, but he had froze upon hearing the first groan of passion.

The rational part of Remus knew he should leave, should allow Harry the privacy that the moment demanded, but the wolf in him howled his displeasure at the thought. The werewolf inside insisted he fly through the door, pin Harry to his bed, and pound into his tight, virgin body with reckless abandon.

Caught between his conflicting emotions, he could only lean against the wall, his ear cocked in reluctant excitement and his hand tentatively moving to cup his erection. He silently willed it to disappear, to save him the humiliation of the knowledge that he lusted after the son of his dead friend, but he couldn't move. His body refused to obey him as it always did near the coming of the full moon, and he could no longer deny his desires. Sighing in part-defeat, disgust, and relief, he slipped his fingers quietly underneath his robes, rubbing his erection within his hand and arching his body against the wall.

When he heard Harry start moaning in his adolescent-cracking, lust-filled voice, he couldn't restrain himself. He slapped a hand over his mouth while he bucked wildly into his own hand. _How pathetic_, he wanted to scream at himself. _You're wanking to the sound of Harry and you love every minute of it_. He wanted to hit himself, to knock some sense in his own mind, but all he could feel was how his cock hardened incredibly more at the sound of Harry climaxing.

"_Remus_…oh god…Remus…"

With a silent groan of revolted pleasure, his own orgasm pooled low in the base of his cock, his testicles drew up with relief while his spunk was thrust out in twitching waves inside of his robes, and he now resembled the teenager that Harry was.

"Merlin, what am I doing?" he cried to himself, shakily pulling his robes tighter around his body while he rushed down the hallway and locked himself in the nearest bathroom with a sob of pure torture. He tried not to think of what Harry was doing calling out _his_ name, but the horribly erotic sound of the sixteen year old crying out "_Remus!"_ kept replaying in his mind.

----------------------

As Harry rode out the last of his pleasurable wake-up call, he thought he heard a muffled groan outside of his room, but when he fell silent, he heard nothing more. With a mental shrug, he got up and stretched languidly, smiling wryly at himself. He tried not to think of the name he called out during his orgasm. It was just too weird. Maybe it was just because he was worried that Remus would catch him…yeah, that was it, he was just trying to be quiet so Remus couldn't have heard him, and it accidentally came out while he was…doing that. He tried to ignore the niggling doubt and ended up shoving it to the back of his mind before grabbing his towel, a change of clothes, and heading down the hall to the bathroom.

But when he tried the handle, he found it locked. Frowning, he hesitantly tapped on the door, asking, "Prof-Remus? Is that you?" He immediately wanted to smack himself for asking such a stupid question. Who else could it have been - Snape? Bloody hell Harry, what a way to show him how mature you've grown.

Remus quickly wiped his face with the palm of his hands before turning on the tap to splash his face with ice cold water. It bought him a moment to clear his throat distractedly while trying to get rid of the blush staining his cheeks. Glancing down, he grimaced when he noticed the evidence of his previous arousal staining the front of his robes, and with a quick wave of his wand, got rid of the sticky fluid.

"Yes, Harry, it's me. I'll be right out," he answered, trying to sound as calm as possible.

"Oh, it's okay, I can wait Remus," Harry said, sounding wonderfully sated. When Remus' groin showed its interest in stirring up eagerly at the husky sound of Harry's voice, he gave it a glare that hastily wiped its hardness away.

Instead of answering the boy, Remus nonchalantly opened the door to find Harry leaning against the wall with a small smile playing about his lips. He automatically smiled back, moving out of the doorway with the intention of letting the boy sidle inside. But Harry held back a moment, looking deeply into his eyes and searching his face.

"What's wrong, Prof-Remus?" he asked finally after a moment of staring.

"Nothing to be worried about, Harry. Just…nightmares," Remus replied, almost inaudibly.

Harry nodded his head sympathetically. He would know all about those, after all. Harry visibly hesitated a moment, before reaching out a hand and settling it on Remus' scarred forearm. "I'm sorry, Remus, if I'm making it harder on you."

Remus sent him a startled glance, before shaking his head tiredly. "Please Harry, don't start that. You know I love having you here for the summer."

Harry gave him a small smile. "You mean that Remus?" he asked hopefully.

"Of course Harry," Remus answered. "If you hadn't come, I'd only be moping around." He softened his words with a strained smile, thinking silently, _but now I'm just listening to you masturbate behind closed doors. How bloody pathetic can I get? Sirius would be ashamed of me._

"Well, I'm glad," Harry said, frantically searching for something else to change to subject. But before he could open his mouth, Remus gave him a quick smile before mumbling something about breakfast and hurrying away. Harry sighed in irritation; he hadn't wanted to scare the man off, but he really wasn't as coherent as he'd like the morning.

His shoulders slumped and he stalked through the door, intent on taking a long hot shower - and then perhaps a cold shower as well. Hopefully that would jumpstart his body into having a few more reactions than a renewed erection that had mysteriously appeared while he had been waiting for Remus to emerge.

As Harry prepared to step under the spray of water he was inundated by guilt.

_What would Sirius think about me, wanking to thoughts of his best friend and lover…he would be so ashamed of me._

He tried to clear his mind of the depressing though, and in desperation he turned to his struggling erection. He promised himself he wouldn't think of Remus this time.

Yet somehow he knew it wasn't going to be as easy as he hoped.

--------------------

When Harry finally made it down for the belated breakfast, Remus was beginning to become worried when Harry refused to look him in the eye and made only noncommittal remarks to his queries.

"Are you okay Harry? Have I…upset you?" Remus finally tried to ask diplomatically after a long, rather tense silence.

"No, I'm fine…I just…feel different today, you know?" Harry answered finally after he took a moment to decide on his words. He looked uncomfortable and irritable; like a normal teenager, Remus thought with a sudden fond grin.

"Well Harry, you've changed. It was a big step in your development, and your hormones will be increasing and fluctuating until they can settle down," Remus began, adopting his best 'I'm-a-teacher-and-I-know-what-I'm-talking-about' voice. Hopefully that would distract both of them from the awkward silences that were beginning to fall flat between the two of them.

Harry shrugged, still annoyed. "Well, whatever, they're bloody annoying."

"It'll pass soon enough," Remus said, trying to soothe the boy's proverbial ruffled fur.

"Well, it won't really matter in a few years, will it?" Harry sneered, his tone suddenly turning ugly. "Look, I know I'm just a kid to you, but you don't have to talk to me like I'm five."

"Stop it, Harry," Remus growled low in his throat, startling both of them. "Stop taking your bad mood out on me. I'm trying to make it easier for you, but there's no need for you to abuse the offer."

Harry flushed angrily, turning his face sharply away from the man and exposing the faded Snape-handprint on his cheek. It must have been forgotten in the shuffle of his change, but it was surprising that it was still visible. It really should have been healed by now (whether naturally or magically) and Remus was about to offer to heal the bruise, when Harry abruptly climbed to his feet and stormed out of the room.

Remus grunted in annoyance, his anger at the boy's lack of discretion chafing his irritated emotions. It felt like he had been thrown into a whirlwind of flaring tempers lately, and it was starting to get to him. But he finally just sighed heavily and with a wave of his wand, began to do the dishes.

--------------------

Harry climbed the stairs rapidly, skipping every other step and huffing in resentment at the sting of remorse he felt. It was becoming an all too familiar emotion lately, and he was sick and tired of feeling the blame. He opened the door to the attic, stepped inside, and slammed the door with a satisfying _thump_.

He paced back and forth across the bare floorboards, his hands clenched while his emotions roiled inside of his stomach, causing his chest to burn painfully. He hated this! He hated being trapped inside this house with condescending adults; if this was how Sirius had felt, no wonder he had rushed headlong into an adventure sure to promise death. After all, if he had to be alone in a house he hated surrounded by good intentions, he'd have gone crazy long before Sirius had. Going from freedom (of a sorts) by living on the run, and then shoved into a box for his own safety…Merlin save them all if they tried to do that to Harry.

He might as well go waltzing up to Voldemort and ask him to put him out of his misery if they kept this up…

He immediately felt ashamed of himself once again. Merlin, he hated this feeling. He'd rather feel nothing, like he had when he had spent the beginning of the summer with the Dursleys. They had left him well enough alone except for the occasional chore; Harry had the impression that they had been afraid of him, not that he cared one way or another. He wished he were still there for the first time since he had been introduced to the wizarding world.

Thoughts of the Dursleys had the ironic effect of calming him down, his ire at Remus cooling as quickly as it had come on. He sat on the floor underneath the window, the sun already up and heating the attic quickly.

"I wish I were someone else," he whispered, looking upwards toward the slanting ceiling.

"You don't want that, Harry," Remus said softly from the doorway. He had followed the boy up soon after, unwilling to leave things strained and tense for the rest of the day. He had just caught the end of the boy's statement, and automatically spoke without thinking.

Harry looked over, unsurprised to see the man standing there in the doorway, the light outlining his thin, wiry body in full glory. He could almost feel his mouth beginning to water at the image.

"Don't think like that, Harry," Remus whispered. "You will only torture yourself."

Harry just stared at him, his green eyes dull in the afternoon light. "I wish I had been someone like Sirius, so that I could have had friends like you and dad."

"I _am_ your friend, Harry. I'm here for you," Remus said intensely, staring hard at the boy in front of him. "Besides, you have Ron and Hermione as well."

"No…it's just not the same, Pro-I mean, Remus. And I know I'm just a kid to you, and I want to be more than that," he said, looking down at his worn trainers absently.

"Well, what do you want, then?" Remus asked, suddenly feeling as if his own voice was strangling him. He tried not to picture how Harry must have looked calling out his name during his climax.

"I guess I just want what Sirius had…" he whispered, seeming to have startled himself as well with his wish, and he immediately twisted his body around to stare out the window. Harry didn't look embarrassed really, only wistful. His exhaustion of mind and body had to be catching up with him; all the anger he had steadily been storing up was taking its toll.

Remus was silent, his breath caught in his throat. He felt as if he were living in a dream, hearing what Harry was saying but unable to process the meaning behind it. "I-" he tried to say, but choked.

"I'm sorry to have surprised you, Remus," Harry said grimly. "I never meant to make you uncomfortable." He sounded truly apologetic.

"I'm…not uncomfortable, just a bit stunned. I mean, you had only found out about Sirius and I a little while ago…it's just very quick," Remus amended, but winced at the darkening expression on Harry's face. He was handling this badly.

"You think I'm just trying to replace him with you, don't you?" Harry asked his voice low and strained.

"Well, I wouldn't rule out the possibility," Remus tried to start tactfully.

"I've wanted you for a while now," Harry said his tone conversational. "But I don't think I even realized it myself. It was always just in the back of my mind."

"You're probably just confused," Remus tried to intervene, but Harry would not allow himself to be stopped. After all this time, he was finally saying what had been stored up inside of him for the time he had spent trapped inside of the house.

Harry just continued on as if he had never spoken. "But I never knew you were gay, and I was too shocked to even imagine that you could be...like me. Besides, I always thought that this feeling was wrong, even…this morning. I thought it was all wrong," he said, trailing off into a whisper, his fists clenching in self-loathing.

"I am sorry, Harry. It's not about you being a homosexual or not. But you are a boy, and I am a man. It would not be appropriate," Remus said stiffly, mentally berating himself but unable to stop the defensive words. When he thought of this morning's voyeuristic peeping, he winced and flushed uncomfortably.

Harry ran rough fingers through his mussed and still damp hair. "I mean, I don't even know what _I_ want, but I know that there should at least be a chance to find out, even if we have to wait awhile."

"I-I couldn't say, Harry," Remus answered unsteadily. "It's too soon to tell right now. I mean, Sirius just died, I couldn't possibly-"

"I understand Remus," Harry assured him, suddenly calm now and smiling through gritted teeth. "But I think it would be best if you left me alone for a little while."

Remus could say nothing to that; he left as quietly as he had arrived.

_I've killed Sirius, and Remus could never want me. I'm such an idiot. I wish I could just disappear._

--------------------

There had been apprehensive air in Grimmauld Place for the past few days now, and it didn't seem to be abating. Remus' transformation occurred on the full moon, and though he had taken the Wolfsbane Potion, he chose not to be around Harry, though the werewolf inside of him was howling his dismay. He wanted more of that spicy, animalistic scent Harry had begun to exude but Remus could only make due with settling in the attic, breathing in deeply the lingering smell of the Lupent.

Downstairs, however, Harry was trapped in the magically enhanced and spell-dampened cellar with Professor Snape, shivering from the dampness and close proximity with the man he had almost killed. He had finally pulled the rest of the story out of Dumbledore, much to his disgruntlement, but they had made a deal. He wanted to know what had really happened, and in exchange he wouldn't complain about the Occlumency lessons.

"Legilimens," Severus said, delightfully tearing into Harry's mind.

_A young Harry Potter being chased up by a tree with the snapping jaw of a barking dog tearing his pant leg…_

_Harry suddenly finding himself up on the roof of the school without knowing how he had gotten there…_

_Harry with his hands placed on Snape's throat and squeezing with every intention to kill the man that had made his life so miserable…_

"No!" Harry roared, finally pushing Snape weakly out of his mind with an Ice hex directed toward the man's wand hand.

"I don't want you to attack me, you idiot boy. Break free with your mind. Now, try it again. Legilimens," Snape barked.

_Cho Chang huddling close to Harry, tears streaming down her face while she gave him a wet, sobbing kiss…_

_Harry listening to Hermione ramble on about doing his Potions homework…_

_Drawn into the mind of a Lupent that had stuck its nose into Remus Lupin's crotch, sniffing for that wonderfully dark smell…_

"Damn it," Harry growled, flushing crimson, his eyes trained on the ceiling while he lay sprawled out on the cold stone floor after he had forcefully ripped his mind away from Snape's.

"Why Potter, I never would have guessed you'd-"

"Just shut it, Snape. Forget you ever saw that," he mumbled in frustration, but the red staining his cheeks ruined the effect of cool confidence he had wished for.

Snape smirked maliciously, shrugging slightly as he replied "Why would I let something so deliciously embarrassing to a Potter slide by without saying something?"

"Because maybe for once you'll have the decency not to tease me about something so personal," Harry retorted angrily, still resting on the floor, his muscles cramping painfully. Snape pretended not to notice his pained grimace.

"Potter, it would be my undying pleasure to tease you unmercifully for the rest of your life about what I just saw," Snape said with a real smile in his eyes and his lips twitching with repressed amusement.

Harry simply sighed, missing the real laughter on the man's face luckily or he would have surely died of shock on the spot, and lifted himself off the ground to stand up to the Potion master like a man. He imagined throwing a punch to the man's eye before he fell flat on his face as his muscles gave a particularly savage twitch.

Snape snorted in disbelief before sighing audibly. Harry watched as Snape strode forward, extending a hand to grasp his arm and pull him roughly to his feet.

Wheezing, Harry fell forward into Snape's body weakly, supported by the man he abhorred most in the world. He forced himself and his newly awakened sex drive to ignore the hard body pressed against his own.

Snape sneered down at the boy, saying spitefully, "You are as weak as a first year, Potter. Get off of me."

Looking affronted Harry tried to stand on his own, but found his legs wouldn't support his weight and rumbled low in his throat in dismay. The lessons and their subsequent after effects seemed even worse than last year when Voldemort kept slipping into his mind. Luckily he hadn't had many visions this year, as Voldemort seemed content to lie low for the time being. Yet Harry had no doubt he would show up at the most inconvenient time.

Irritated, Snape transfigured a spare piece of wood lying in a corner on the stone floor into a chair, swept the boy up into his arms, and practically threw Harry into the seat.

"Thanks a lot, Professor," Harry grumbled, shifting to rub his bruised arse and find a more comfortable spot.

"I should have just left you on the floor if that's the sort of appreciation I'm going to receive," Snape muttered, eyes narrowing.

Harry felt it was safer not to respond, and decided to take a look around since he hadn't had the time when he first entered. All Snape had done was take one look at him, attack with Legilimency, and he had been rolling around on the floor the rest of the evening.

It was dimly lit with a single scone and two candles, and was extremely damp – the perfect environment for a vampire he silently snickered. A cool breeze seemed to waft from the darkest corner of the room, creating a chill in the air. There was a large stack of boxes near the back of the large room, haphazardly piled and balanced precariously. It seemed the cellar was being used as extra storage space since the attic had been cleaned out for Buckbeak's – and now Harry's – use. He could feel Snape's stare boring into him, but refused to look at the man that could make him squirm with one glare of those intense near-black eyes.

Severus watched keenly as the boy slowly took stock of their surroundings, not very interested, but seemingly more as a way to pass the time rather than make eye contact with him.

"Why did you not attack me in your Lupent form, Potter?" Severus abruptly asked breaking the tentative silence that had descended upon the room as Harry recovered. Snape knew that chocolate would speed the process up, but wasn't concerned with the boy's health.

Harry shrugged gamely saying, "It didn't seem to feel like you were a threat. It liked your scent."

"But I am a full-blooded human," Snape said thoughtfully, his eyes hooded and gleaming in the darkness of the room.

"Are you sure about that?" Harry smirked nastily.

He quickly squelched the expression, clearing his throat hastily before responding, "You smelled…I don't know it's hard to explain." Harry sighed, and Snape noticed he still dared no to glance over at him.

"Try!" Snape ordered, imperiously sweeping his arms together, his stained fingers tapping against the sleeve of his robe.

"You smelled dark, okay? There was something about your smell that let me know there was no threat. Humph, seems the animal was wrong though," Harry said bitterly, rubbing the cheek that had held the bruised handprint previously. Snape knew the Headmaster had found out about the lingering wound and had immediately healed it. Nobody had mentioned it since, except for the insolent boy sitting cockily in front of him.

Snape didn't have the decency to even appear abashed at Harry's acid tone. "How can I smell dark? It's a color, not a scent," Snape said bitingly. "What does Lupin smell like?"

"By dark, I suppose I mean rich…and, uh, sorta thick. But there are different, er, levels to it, I think. Like Remus, he smells sweet. But you smelled like citrus and it was sort of sharp. Like it made my nose tingle," Harry said, obviously trying to answer as coherently and patiently as possible. Snape delighted in sneering, letting him know he had gotten his point across, but with no sort of elegance whatsoever.

"Does it suppress the animal inside of you?" Snape asked his eyes trained squarely on the uneasy boy in front of him.

"No, not really. It merely makes it calm, like the urge to attack something is less," Harry answered, finally turning to look at the man with a sulky look in his eyes. "It just makes me a little less of a beast than usual."

Snape did not refute that statement. "Where was the strongest point of the smell coming from?"

Harry blushed and would not to answer.

"I suppose it was where you stuck your nose earlier, wasn't it?" Snape asked with narrowed eyes. "You're lucky you didn't try to do that to me," he said with a dangerous glint in his eye.

Harry only blushed harder. It seemed to Snape it hadn't been for lack of desire, then, as he remembered pushing an eager Lupent head away from his legs multiple times.

"Professor?" Harry asked after a few moments of silence, startling Snape out of his reverie he had slipped into thinking hard about the scent information.

"What, Potter?" he spat, annoyed at the interruption.

"Do you think you could make a potion for me like the Wolfsbane?" he questioned quietly, staring down at his hands that had recently held elongated claws that could disembowel a man with a single swipe.

Severus stared at the boy a moment, before answering slowly. "The Headmaster has already asked me that but I told him it would be quite difficult. It is an entirely different mixture of minds, though there are striking similarities to a werewolf. But there is only two species to consider in a werewolf: there is man and there is wolf. But in the Lupent, there is man, feline, and wolf and many of the properties can not be combined successfully without negating another ingredient."

"Oh," Harry said, looking downcast. "I see."

"But, that doesn't mean I'm not trying," Snape said sharply. "It would be a great discovery, and one that would do well for my career."

"What career?" Harry asked thoughtlessly. "I thought you were just a teacher."

Snape narrowed his eyes dangerously, and his voice was bitterly cold when he spoke next. "Get out Potter. We are through for the evening."

Harry knew he had blundered, but did not try to retract his statement. He merely gave the man a nod, stood unsteadily, and carefully made his way out of the cellar without a backward glance.

He did not feel guilty for once.

--------------------

The next morning, Harry had breakfast alone, and since there was no new house elf in Grimmauld Place after what had happened with Kreacher (who had mysteriously disappeared after Sirius died), he was forced to make it himself. But after all the practice he had gained at the Dursley's, he was no novice and within little time, he had a plate of eggs, toast, and juice before him. Making extra, he decided he would take it up to Remus after he finished as a gesture of belated apology for his actions the previous morning.

While he sat slumped with his elbows propped on the table, one holding his head and the other holding his fork, he was contemplating the meaning of life in his scrambled eggs when Hedwig flew through the kitchen window carting a load of packages. Startled, he glanced up, smiling weakly when he caught sight of his snowy owl soaring towards him. He hadn't seen her since he let her out of her cage for the summer, knowing she was better off at the Weasley's than at the Dursley's. She seemed well fed and exercised, seeming to have gotten a lot of work at Ron's despite the little owl Sirius had given him.

As it was, she flew inside to land at his elbow, nipping affectionately at his fingers and demanding loving attention for a few moments. Giving her the crusts of his toast, he watched as she had her fill and settled beside his arm comfortably. She didn't seem to sense anything different about him, or rather, just ignored the changes in favor of pruning her feathers casually.

He began to untie the scrolls and the boxes when he was distracted again. Pig and a school owl flew in, carrying more packages wrapped in bright, crinkly paper. However smoothly Hedwig had accepted his changes, Pig was obviously uneasy, circling overhead and not landing until his owl snapped her beak sharply at him in an obvious command for him to land. Once Harry had untied the presents, Pig immediately flew out of the house without stopping for food and water. The school owl settled on the table, offering its leg, and Harry untied Hagrid's gift before it flew off with a hoot and another piece of his toast clutched in its beak.

He smiled at Hedwig's coo of encouragement rather sadly before unrolling the parchment that had been attached to her leg.

_Dear Harry,_

_I know its way past due, but Dumbledore wouldn't let us send our gifts until August, and he wouldn't give us a reason. He just said you wouldn't feel up to it until later. Ginny said it probably had something to do with Sirius' death, and you still coping and all._

Harry winced when he read that part. Ron really didn't have tact when it came to discussing sensitive subject matters. He knew Ginny would have walloped him on the head for that comment had she known it was put in the letter.

_Hermione came for a visit with her parents expecting to see you here, and left her presents here to be sent along with ours when she realized you hadn't come. Bill and Charlie spent a few days here over the summer as well and it was brilliant! It's been a while since we have all been together, and they told me to send their regards._

_I asked Mum if we were going to Grimmauld Place for the week before school, but she muttered something about Dumbledore saying it wasn't a good time, whatever that means. But as I figure, we'll see you at least a day or two beforehand I bet._

_Write me and tell me how you like your presents._

_Your friend,_

_Ron_

Harry could only shake his head by the end of the letter, re-rolling the parchment. He could feel the jealousy at such an easy going family with no real problems curdle inside of his stomach. Ron, though _he _felt he was poor, was rich in love, while Harry, rich in wealth had no family to really call his own.

Looking at the gifts sprawled across the table; he tried to dredge up enough desire to sift through them, but ended up shrugging and piling them in his arms to take them upstairs. Maybe he'd open them later.

Allowing Hedwig to climb up his shoulder, he quickly carried the armload of gifts to his room and threw them on the unoccupied bed opposite of his in the room Ron and he had shared last summer. He set Hedwig in her cage, and she immediately folded her wings and looked ready for a long nap. Phineas had abandoned his portrait, and Harry had never once caught sight of him since finding out Sirius had disappeared.

Harry hurried back downstairs and threw away the rest of his breakfast. He wasn't feeling very hungry anymore, but made a tray to take up to Remus. He slowly trod up the stairs after covering a plate of a breakfast similar to his, holding it steady so as to not spill the juice and tea, and carefully made his way to Remus' room.

When he got to one of the guest rooms Remus had commandeered for his own, he juggled the tray for a moment before knocking softly. There was no answer, but when Harry tried to turn the knob the door opened with a quiet _snick_ to allow Harry entry. Pushing the door open with his elbow, he edged his way inside as quietly as possible, blinking rapidly behind his thick glasses to adjust to the sudden darkness of the room.

Trying not to look at the bed where soft snores were coming from, he gently set the tray on the bedside table before finally giving in to the urge. He turned his head slowly, taking in the slow rise and fall of Remus' scarred chest, the position of his arms that crossed underneath his head and pillow to expose his nude upper body, and the white, twisted sheet wrapped around his thin hips. The man was savagely beautiful with his half naked body sprawled before him like a fallen angel.

Harry couldn't resist the urge to move closer, his eyes greedily taking in the sight of the man Harry had dreamed about since he had arrived at Grimmauld Place. When he stood beside the bed he inhaled deeply, still able to smell that sweetly erotic smell Harry had come to associate specifically with the former Defense professor. Quite without realizing it, he reached out a hand tentatively to smooth it over the stretched abdomen of the man lying quietly before him.

He sucked in a startled breath when Remus reacted quickly, grabbing his wrist and pulling him closer so that Harry sat abruptly on the bed beside him. With his eyes still closed, Remus dragged Harry so that he lay prone across Remus' own body, warmth against warmth, hardness against hardness.

"Remus," he moaned as quietly as possible, writhing against the sleeping body underneath him.

"Harry," he sighed back, nuzzling closer, burying his face into Harry's hair and breathing deeply. "I want you," he murmured sleepily.

"I-" Harry groaned. "I want you too." Without thinking, he leaned over and pressed his lips hotly against the slack lips of the sleeping man. Though he had little experience of intimacy with anyone he tried his hardest, his eagerness making up where he lacked skill.

Remus' eyes shot open once he realized it wasn't another dream, but Harry actually lay draped on top of his chest in his bed.

"What the-" he started, but was cut off by a second kiss from the desperate, sweet lips of the young boy currently covering his body.

Though he tried to resist, Remus could not prevent a moan of arousal from escaping his lips, and finally giving in, pulled Harry's mouth closer to his, spearing his fingers through the boy's thick, dark hair. Licking the boy's bottom lip, silently begging for entry, he could have shouted in joy when Harry allowed his tongue to enter. Sweeping the sweet taste of Harry's mouth with long strokes of his tongue, he could feel the boy's body quiver in excitement, pressing closer against his own aching flesh. Remus resurfaced for air before once again sliding his tongue further inside, gliding over Harry's teeth to smooth over his palate. Beginning a duel with Harry's own tongue playfully, he groaned quietly, running his twitching fingers frantically down Harry's smooth neck and shoulders.

Harry gasped into Remus' mouth; his glimmering eyes were wide open, taking in every aspect of the man's face while he had Remus practically devouring his mouth. He grabbed Remus' shoulders, clutching him closer while he thrust his hips against the equal hardness he could feel pressing into his belly, but unfortunately it seemed to jar the man from his stupor. Remus thrust him away, panting harshly while wiping his mouth with the back of one hand. He shifted away from Harry, reclining on the pillows.

"What are you doing here Harry?" Remus asked, his eyes flickering away from boy staring back at him in hurt.

"I was just bringing you breakfast," he said shyly, brushing the hair from his face with a trembling hand.

"Oh, I-well thank you Harry, but you should probably go now," Remus said in a faintly hopeful voice, ushering with his hands toward the door. But Harry sat still for a moment beside him on the bed.

"Are you mad at me for what I did, Remus?" Harry asked quietly with his eyes lowered.

"No, Harry, I'm not mad. But it was highly inappropriate," Remus answered with a heavy sigh, staring at the ceiling with heavy-lidded eyes. "I should not have taken advantage of you like that."

"What?" Harry cried, his slouched shoulders straightening abruptly. "You didn't take advantage of me! If anything, it's my fault!"

"No, Harry, I am the adult and I should be able to restrain myself better," he said, breathing shallowly. He was very pale, his skin a sickly ash color and his muscles were trembling from the miniscule strain of sitting upright.

"Just get some rest, Professor. I won't bother you again," Harry whispered, pulling the sheets up and tucking them in place around the tired man's body.

"I'm sorry Harry," he murmured, already slipping back to sleep. "I didn't mean…" he trailed off as he fell unconscious though a frown still bunched his eyebrows and his mouth was still slick from Harry's recent kiss.

Harry, tearing himself away from the sight, exited the room as quietly as he had entered, though feeling far guiltier than before.

------------------

Harry spent the rest of the weekend in solitude doing his homework while Lupin tried to sleep off some of the after effects of the full moon. Harry was sure, though, that he had recovered fully and was just using his recent transformation as an excuse to be rid of his company. Every once in a while he was sure he heard the Floo roar signaling someone was coming or going, but once he had darted towards the living room he only found it empty.

Bored, he stared blankly out of the window, tapping the edge of the quill against his chin absently while he dazedly pondered the many uses of hag hair in a potion for curing the measles. With his eyes glazed over he stared at the fenced portion of the dehydrated backyard from the living room window that day, never noticing the two people that stepped into the room behind him.

A gentle cough brought him crashing back to reality. Whipping his head around quickly, he stared in startled disbelief at Ron and Hermione, before jumping to his feet to greet them.

"Hello! What are you two doing here?" he asked, clapping Ron on the back and giving Hermione a swift hug.

Hermione laughed, giving him a sisterly peck on the cheek. "Dumbledore said we could come for a quick visit since we wouldn't be seeing you in Diagon Alley or on the train to school."

"Yeah mate, what's all that about?" Ron asked, frowning suspiciously.

Harry sighed heavily, brushing his bangs away from his forehead. "Dumbledore says it's too dangerous for me to go out in public now that I've incriminated tons of Death Eaters and brought Voldemort back to life and all," he said bitterly.

They both winced at the Dark Lord's name before smiling gingerly. Quickly trying to change the subject, Hermione asked, "Did you get the presents Ron sent you? We never got any letters back."

It was Harry's turn to wince, a flush on his cheeks. "I haven't really opened them yet, though I did get them. Thanks, by the way," he added belatedly. He could tell from the disappointed expressions on their face that they did not find the information enlightening.

"Why didn't you open them, Harry?" Ron asked, puzzled.

Harry just shrugged, already getting tired of all the questions. With Remus avoiding him, it had been a bit quiet around the house, and he realized he hadn't minded as much as he had thought.

"Well?" Hermione asked worriedly.

"I just didn't feel like it, okay?" Harry said roughly. "Without Sirius here it just didn't feel right."

They both nodded in dawning understanding, looking uncomfortable. Nobody said anything for a minute, before Harry asked wearily, "Would you like me to open them now?"

They each shrugged, not pointedly answering, and taking that as a hint, he motioned for them to follow him upstairs to his bedroom. They eagerly followed at his heels, filling the tense atmosphere with chatter of their summer, asking how his had gone without giving him a chance to answer before relating what they had been up to. Harry decided to let them both ramble on while he disinterestedly sifted through the pile of presents still on Ron's empty bed.

Since they were both present he decided to open their gifts first, and managed to find both with relative ease. Picking up the smaller one that was from Hermione, he could already tell from the shape that it was a book. Unfortunately, when he pulled back the wrapping paper, he wanted to throw it through the window.

"_Dealing with Loss and How a Teenager Should Cope_ by Atwood Alwazrite," Harry read aloud, toneless. "I get the feeling you're trying to tell me something, Hermione."

She tried to hold his gaze as long as possible, before dropping her eyes and refusing to answer. He set it aside gently so as not to give into his destructive urges, before moving on to Ron's gift.

His gift was much more realistic. It was a brand of broom polish called _Burkley's Firebolt Grooming Grease_ specifically designed to bring out the luster in the wood and the ability to keep a firm grip without gloves even directly after application.

"Thanks Ron," Harry said, smiling weakly. "I'm sure Sirius would like that you're helping me keep his Firebolt in good condition."

Ron shrugged and laughed stiltedly, waving a hand carelessly.

After setting aside the two gifts he sighed heavily. "I'm sorry guys; I just don't really feel like opening the rest of these now. I'll open them later."

"That's okay mate, don't worry about it," Ron said softly. "We really just wanted to make sure you were okay this summer."

"Yeah, we were just worried when we found out you were basically spending it all alone," Hermione said, patting the back of his hand.

He bit his lip, trying to repress the words that wanted to spew forth, wanting to bathe them in his rage and helplessness…instead, he swallowed hard while nodding, the sting in his eyes more pronounced.

"Well," he said, trying to clear his throat, "Remus has been a great help, and I've had time to get my homework done this summer. But I've had to take Occlumency lessons with Snape again," he said, trying to fill in the gaps of conversation. For some reason, this was harder than he thought it was going to be.

"That's awful luck, Harry," Ron said in commiseration, immediately jumping on the bash-Snape train of thought. "He's a right git at school, and now you've been stuck with him through the holidays too!" he scowled.

"Yeah," Harry said, chuckling weakly. "Like school isn't enough."

Hermione frowned, before offering tentatively, "Well, I think it's a good idea. It will be safer for you…"

Harry stiffened. "You mean, for _you_ don't you?" he sneered.

"No!" Hermione cried. "I don't mean that at all, Harry. I think it's just better if Vo-Voldemort can't read your mind," she tried to finish vainly. But Harry had already turned his face away, and would not meet her eyes.

"You don't have to remind me, Hermione. Believe me, for every second of every day I realize I've made a mistake," he said hoarsely. "A mistake that got Sirius killed."

"I didn't mean it like that," she said softly, her voice choked. "Nobody blames you for Sirius."

"Well maybe they should!" Harry suddenly shouted. "Maybe I just want someone to tell me the truth that it _is_ my fault! The only one around here that tells me the truth is that bastard Snape, and that truly is not saying something."

Both of his friends blanched but Ron turned red in anger. "Listen Harry, if that's what you want, you're going to have to look for someone else to tell you that. But Hermione and I don't blame you, and I'm sure Professor Lupin doesn't either. So don't take your anger out on your friends," he said firmly.

"Maybe you shouldn't be my friends anymore," Harry said, his eyes flashing angrily. "Maybe you both shouldn't be friends with someone that could get you killed!"

"Is that what this is about Harry?" Hermione whispered. "Are you afraid you're going to get us killed?"

Harry could not answer, instead turning his face towards the window, his hands clenched futilely by his sides. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against the cool windowpane, sighing in defeat.

"I don't know," he said softly, his eyes shut tightly.

Hermione and Ron walked forward together, wrapping their arms around him. Even Ron, who was not prone to giving touches, wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulder, staring down at him in concern. Hermione wrapped both of her arms around Harry's thin waist, holding him tightly against her body in calm, soothing support. Both ignored his initial struggles, holding him tightly between them in silent comfort. Harry tried to muffle a sob, but he was just so tired of fighting his roiling emotions, and could not stop the tears that trickled down his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry," he hiccupped. "I'm sorry."

They only embraced him tighter, and let him cry out all of his frustrations.

--------------------

They spent the rest of the afternoon in a slightly more relaxed state of mind, none willing to broach the subject anymore. Instead, they stayed near safer topics of schoolwork, upcoming classes, and previous holidays, reminiscing of the school days of old. They paused only for afternoon tea, and though the house was strangely silent and empty, they tried not to pay it any mind.

"Where do you think everyone else is?" Ron asked through a mouthful of sandwiches that Harry had hastily put together.

Harry grimaced. "Probably off doing things for the Order," he said sourly.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I can't wait till I graduate and then I'll be joining for sure," Ron said, his eyes brightening eagerly.

"Ron, you know your mother would never allow that!" Hermione said in reprimand, shaking her head.

"What's she going to do? I'll be a legal wizard by then, she can't stop me," Ron shot back with his mouth full of food, on the verge of choking on his ire and sandwich.

"He has a point," Harry said, shrugging at her venomous look that fairly shouted, '_you are not helping here!'_

"Anyways, I'll be joining as well. I mean, it's a given, right?" Harry said blandly, trying to ignore the tinge of bitterness that he hoped they couldn't hear in his voice.

Apparently they had missed it.

"Don't you want to do anything besides work for the Order?" Hermione asked softly, her eyes brimming with emotion as she watched the two boys across from her send her blank looks.

"What else would we do?" Ron asked, sincerely puzzled.

"Well, wouldn't you want to go to the University?" Hermione asked, raking the frazzled hair away from her face.

"Why? I'm going to be an Auror," Ron defended. "That's just as good."

"What about you Harry?" Hermione questioned almost desperately.

"I'll do whatever Dumbledore tells me to do," he answered quietly, and the conversation was over.

-------------------

When the other two finally left for the night, it was a relief to all of them. Remus had not emerged from his room all day, and Harry had not the courage to face him again after the last disaster.

So instead he lay alone in his room, his face turned away from the window to watch the blurry reflection of the moon reflected on another clock. But this time he knew Snape wouldn't burst into his room to kidnap him to another secret location, and he was alone in his memories without the distraction of Remus or Snape.

He would cry no more. He would not be weak, and would not defile the memory of his godfather with more tears shed on his own behalf.

He had only recently found out that there wouldn't even be a memorial service held in Sirius' honor, not even by the Order. It was only another indication on how quickly everyone forgot those on the front lines, and he cynically wondered what Snape thought.

If Sirius, as a Gryffindor, wouldn't even get a passing mention, what could Snape look forward to as a Slytherin Death Eater-Light Warrior? He smiled without humor. Nothing. There was nothing to look forward to. All eyes were on him though, forever and ever…

He drifted off to sleep with the echoing though in his head.

Forever and ever… 

Too bad it wasn't for everyone. Sirius had no forever.

--------------------

Word count: 9,070

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Title**: The Lupent

**Author**: Regal Baring

**Disclaimer**: I don't own, JKR does (which incidentally means no profit for me), I just twist them for my wonderful, evil pleasure.

**Pairing**: HP/SS, HP/RL

**Warning**: Explicit slash, homoerotic content between men

--------------------

**Chapter 3**

_The Deal_

The rest of August passed quietly by almost without notice. Harry's Occlumency lessons continued with Snape in the cellar, who was his usual cantankerous and ill-tempered self. They continued shooting expletives back and forth, which was rather cathartic for Harry, and never failed to bring a smirk to Snape's thin, pale lips.

On one such occasion, to Snape's malicious delight, Harry was sprawled out on the floor in an ungainly position after having cracked the back of his head on the unforgiving stone, and was staring dazedly up at the ceiling.

"Come now, Potter, is that all you have to give? Really, the Dark Lord will have no problem defeating you if that is all the effort you are going to be putting into your studies," Snape sneered.

"Snape," Harry began, "you are a git."

"Please, spare me the adolescent retorts and remove yourself from the floor," Snape ordered imperiously. He stood aloof, arms crossed over his chest, and tapping his wand against his shoulder in impatience. Harry hated him.

Harry crawled to his hands and knees, panting with the effort, and a splitting headache pounding at his temples. When he felt warmth trickling down his cheeks to drip on the floor, he raised one hand with difficulty to touch his chin, smearing the blood along his face. He gazed with a dimly puzzled expression at the thick, viscous fluid.

"It's blood, imbecile," Snape informed him, watching with careless eyes at the boy stared stupidly at his hand. He felt no twinge of regret at the boy's wound, and did not offer to heal the tender skin of the boy's scalp.

"I know that you greasy bastard," Harry panted, stumbling to his feet to weave woozily.

"I have told you before to address me in the proper manner I deserve, and I will not disregard any more foolish words," Snape threatened, his wand hand twitching with the repressed desire to smack the boy upside the head.

"Oh, well excuse me. I meant to say, _Sir_ Greasy Bastard," Harry said cheekily, before collapsing back to the stone floor in exhaustion.

Severus snorted before leaving the cellar without a backward glance. He smirked sinisterly in pleasure when he passed an obviously trepid Lupin, who shot a worried glance at the swinging door of the underground training room.

"What have you done to him, Snape?" Lupin asked quietly, still gazing at the door.

"Nothing the idiot didn't deserve, Lupin," Snape replied with obvious enjoyment.

Remus said nothing, but made his way carefully to the door and began to descend the stairs, but stopped when he heard the Potion master's voice.

"Perhaps I should follow as a chaperone, Lupin. One never knows what a beast will do, after all," he said softly.

Lupin turned with a quizzical look upon his weary-lined features. "Harry wouldn't hurt me, Professor."

"I wasn't talking about the boy, Lupin," Snape said, his eyes as fierce as a hawk, his face carefully masked as he took in the man's suddenly pale features. "Oh yes, I saw that little incident in your bedroom in the boy's thoughts, though he doesn't seem to know that I noticed. It really was quite amusing, but I only wonder what Dumbledore would make of the information."

There was silence between the men before Remus finally spoke up, calm despite Snape's wishes for a babbling werewolf with something to lose.

"Do what you must, Professor," was all Remus would say as he continued on his way to the bottom of the steps.

Snape watched the stiffened back of the werewolf fade from sight, and was strangely disoriented. He had expected something different; there was no smear on his conscience at the subdued threat to the werewolf's livelihood, but more irritating was the flicker of jealousy that lurked in the back of his mind at the repeating image of the boy locked in the other man's embrace. He left in with a swirl of robes that would have impressed even Dumbledore, had anyone been there to witness his tactical retreat.

-------------------

Remus calmly helped Harry to his feet, murmuring in his soothing lilt as he led the boy back to his room upstairs.

"It's okay Harry, I'll help you," Remus said softly, as he pulled the boy gently to his feet. When Harry showed signs of drifting back down towards the floor, he quickly wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulders in an effort to steady him. He tried to ignore the warm press of Harry's body against his side as he helped lead him to the steps.

"Hn, sorry Remus," Harry muttered groggily as he gradually made his way up the wooden steps, holding the rail tightly in his grip.

"It's alright, just be careful," he cautioned, ducking his head to avoid the low ceiling and was inadvertently able to smell the scent of citrus in the boy's hair. It made his nose twitch, and while it was unexpected, it wasn't unpleasant. He could swear he recognized that smell from somewhere…but he only shrugged, forgetting the scent in order to watch carefully as Harry dragged his feet up the steps.

When Remus finally exited with Harry in tow, he found the venomous Snape had left and could only feel relief. The man was truly a tortuous presence to bear.

But changing his mind, Remus instead headed towards the kitchen after noticing the gory head wound which needed healing. It was the perfect opportunity for Remus to set things right.

"Wha' we're doin'?" Harry mumbled, stumbling with the man into kitchen.

"I need to take care of your head wound, Harry," Remus said softly, "and there are a few things I want to talk to you about."

"If 's 'bout the kiss, don' worry 'bout it," Harry slurred, slumping down into the kitchen chair. "Snape musta done somethin' weird th's time. I've never felt like this b'fore."

"Hush," Remus said, and calmly smoothed Harry's hair away from the back of his head to get a closer look at the wound. Pulling his reading glasses from his robe pocket, he pushed them onto his face and grimaced at the sight of all the blood running down the boy's neck. It didn't seem as if it was serious, but he was bleeding like a stuck pig and it made Remus' nose twitch uncomfortably.

Whispering a healing spell, the wound quickly closed up before Remus grabbed a towel to wipe away the mess left behind. He also incanted a spell to help Harry clear his mind of some of the blurriness the blow had inflicted.

"I still feel awful," Harry complained, laying his head down onto his crossed arms on the table tiredly.

"Hmm, you may have a concussion," Remus said thoughtfully, lifting the boy's chin to look into his eyes. Harry's green eyes were shadowed, his pupils dilated so far that you could barely see the color, and he was blinking rapidly. "Yes, I believe you do. I'm going to have to firecall Madame Pomfrey and see what she says about this."

As Remus moved to hurry towards the fireplace to make his call, Harry reached out and grabbed his arm, halting his departure.

"Please, can you tell me what you wanted to talk about first?" Harry asked, his fingers pressed to his temple in obvious discomfort but his face set determinedly.

"Your health is first priority," Remus answered gently. "I must call her first."

"No," Harry said stubbornly. "This is the first time you've talked to me since…well, that incident, and I want you to keep talking to me."

Remus looked ashamed of himself. "I don't blame you for what happened Harry. I'm sorry I haven't been around much."

"It's not that you haven't been around, it's that you just stay locked up in your room all the time. We don't even eat together!" Harry said, his voice betraying his anger and hurt.

Remus glanced down at his feet in apology. "I am sorry Harry. I never meant to desert you," he whispered.

Harry glanced away from the man, missing the tremble Remus gave before he could control himself. "Yeah, well it doesn't mean much now. Since Tthe summer is almost over, I'll be leaving for Hogwarts soon, and then I really won't be able to talk to you."

"I'll still be visiting Hogwarts, Harry. I'll come to see you as often as I can. And maybe we could spend Christmas break here," Remus soothed, stroking the boy's hair before he could catch himself. But Harry didn't seem to mind, moving fluidly under his palm as a cat would, seeking more of the comforting stroke. Remus couldn't contain his smile; Harry really was part cat in many ways, but his loyalty stamped of a wolf.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Harry pressed, still shivering under the calm, soothing caress.

"Well, I wanted to give you your birthday present," Remus said kindly, smiling at Harry's blatant look of surprised delight.

"I thought you had forgotten," Harry admitted, watching eagerly as Remus withdrew a small, thin envelope from his robe pocket.

Handing it over with a calm, if rather expressionless face, Remus tried to watch in detachment while Harry ripped it open in barely contained enthusiasm.

"It's…oh Merlin…it's a picture of my father," Harry whispered reverently, stroking the moving wizard picture in front of him. It was obviously old as the sides were beginning to peel and curl inward, and there was a faint crease down the middle, but Harry ignored the evidence of the wear and tear. He was shocked into silence as he watched the Lupent stroll casually around the picture frame, smiling in a whimsical cat-like way at Harry, extending a paw towards his omnipresent son.

"Dad," he said, his voice strangled. To see the evidence of his father looking almost identical as he did made his eyes sting bitterly. He was overjoyed with the gift, but it was a shadowed joy; he wished his father had been present at his first transformation.

"Thank you Remus," he said shyly, looking up with wide eyes. "I'll never forget this."

"Your welcome, Harry," Remus said softly. "He would have wanted you to know that he would have understood your feelings, and he would have wished he could be here to help you."

Harry could only nod, looking in fascination at the identical Lupent with hazel eyes staring back at him in amusement. James Potter twisted his body around in amazing figure eights, showing off to Harry with pride. Harry laughed out loud when the young Lupent in front of him got tangled up in his own body, falling roughly to the grass at his feet, and huffing in mock anger at his son's laughter.

"This is a wonderful gift, Remus. The best I could have asked for," Harry said with a brilliant smile. "But," he began, confused, "why didn't you give this to me earlier?"

Remus shrugged uncomfortably. "There just never seemed a right time," he tried to defend.

"There was a month," Harry said shortly, but couldn't help his smile at the low growl the picture uttered. "But its okay, I understand. It would be hard to give this up. It's so lifelike," he said in awe.

"Well, I figured you needed it more than I do," Remus said, trying to ignore the prickle of regret at losing his most valued item. _But_, he reminded himself_, it's going to a son who needs it more._

"I…well, I could never thank you enough," Harry said, getting to his feet slowly.

"Would you like me to help you get to your room?" Remus asked in concern, watching the boy as he moved stiffly away from the kitchen, clutching the wizard photograph to his chest.

"Ah, no, I don't need help," Harry said vaguely before leaving the room to settle into silence.

Remus sat alone for a moment, listening keenly to the sound of Harry shuffling up the stairs to the second floor to his bedroom, and heard the door shut with a soft _woosh_, as if the boy was trying to be careful not to disturb anyone.

He lowered his head into his hands, cupping his palms over his eyes and blocking out the dim light of the kitchen. Evening was approaching, and he hesitated to move. He wanted to bask in the warmth still left in the kitchen from Harry's presence, remember the smile that had lit up the boy's entire face at his gift, and inhale the scent that haunted his dreams. But as all dreams must come to an end sometime, he had a firecall to make.

-------------------

Harry was lying on his back in his comfortable sweat pants sans a shirt, holding the picture above his face, watching with a smile as his father showed off his tricks in front of him. The same strange gurgle Harry had made as a Lupent was emitting from the picture from time to time. Harry wished so badly his father were here right now; they could have prowled together in their Lupent forms, he could have been taught properly how to be a strong wizard, he would never have been left so alone…

The sudden opening of the door surprised him, and in his startlement he rolled off the bed and crashed to the floor. Snape stood there smirking, which sent a flush of humiliation creeping down his cheeks and extended to the tops of his shoulders.

"What do you want?" Harry asked sullenly.

"I was told by that wretched nurse Pomfrey that you were in need of a concussion potion. Was she told wrong?" he asked with a raised eyebrow of disdain.

"No," Harry muttered, pulling himself back upright, the picture still clutched in his hand.

Severus said nothing, watching the half naked boy stand warily as if he were waiting for another attack similar to this afternoon's lesson. But Snape merely stood waiting at the doorway.

"Well, are you going to give it to me or not?" Harry demanded, still red. He crossed his arms across his bare chest defensively, tucking the picture protectively against his skin.

"Give it to you how?" Snape purred. "Like the wolf did that morning in his bedroom?" he asked, his voice a seductive whip.

Harry paled, the blood draining from his face before he started stumbling over his words. "It-it, well, it was an acc-accident," he tried to explain.

"It didn't seem much like an accident to me," Severus sneered. "It looked like Dumbledore's Golden Boy was enjoying his former Professor far too much."

"I-no, look, it wasn't how it seemed," he stammered pleadingly.

"No? Are you calling me mistaken?" Severus taunted, trapping the boy in his own words.

"Wha-yes, I mean, no, I mean, I don't know-" he abruptly cut himself off. "Look, what do you want?" he asked tiredly.

"Oh, I don't think I like that attitude at all, Potter," Snape said with soft menace. "It seems that you are accusing me of attempting to blackmail a student."

"Well aren't you?" Harry snarled angrily. His flush had returned twofold.

"I think what I want is a simple enough exchange," Snape said, almost hissing his words in delight.

"What do you want?" Harry repeated, lowering his eyes to the floor.

"In return for my silence…well, I suppose you'll just have to accost another Professor and then I won't have reason to go to the Headmaster," Snape said with a far-too-innocent smirk.

"I-what?" Harry gaped incredulously.

"Come now Potter, I didn't think you were this dim," Snape said impatiently. "You heard what I said."

"I heard it, but I can't believe it. Why would you want me to do that?" Harry asked in amazement. "I thought you hated me. I mean, I tried to kill you."

"I do hate you, stupid boy," Snape said, trying to reign in his temper, "and my reasons are not important." _Suffice to say, destroying Gryffindor hopes have a high number on my priority list_, he thought with grim satisfaction, completely ignoring the reference to the threat on his life. After he got what he wanted, he would have the rest of his life to torture the boy with his slip up.

Of course he felt no need to explain his reasoning to the boy. He _hated_ Lupin, with more passion in his body than he held even for potions or dislike of Potters. To have him crushed under the knowledge that a Slytherin had defeated and stolen from him once again…oh, victory was so sweetly served along with Gryffindor anguish.

-----

Harry knew there was more the story than he was being told, but right at that moment, he couldn't dredge up enough emotions to care. He was in shock. Maybe his concussion was more serious than he had originally thought. He thought he had heard the most hated man on the planet, the greasiest gob of them all, the Potions Professor of Hogwarts with the reputation evil enough to scare first years into wetting themselves…he imagined he had heard that he wanted Harry to kiss him. Kiss him like he had kissed Remus. He almost shuddered in his revulsion. It was going to ruin his memories of kissing far worse than Cho Chang ever could have accomplished with her tear-filled kiss.

"You want…_me_…to _kiss_…_you_?" Harry asked, hoping he had heard wrong.

"Well, I hadn't stuttered," Snape scoffed.

"Oh, but, well, I'm not sure that's such a good idea," Harry groped, trying to find a suitable reason. But his mind had gone blank; his system had shut down at the words 'kiss' and 'Snape' in the same sentence.

"And, Potter?" Snape questioned, that damnable eyebrow raised again. "Are you going to give me a reason?"

"Well, I'm not, uh, really feeling my best right now, Professor," Harry said, patting himself silently on the back for the excuse.

"And when has that ever stopped you before?" Snape retorted, his arms crossed and his game face on. He looked ready to haggle.

"I…um…I just wouldn't be able to give it my all?" he squeaked, his eyes squinting shut behind his thick glasses and his thin shoulders raised in a questioning shrug.

While Harry thought that was the lamest answer he had ever given, Snape actually seemed to consider it.

"I do not care to have my kiss be as slobbering as an inexperienced first year, so I suppose a short delay might be in order," he grudgingly admitted. His 'revenge kiss', as he liked to think of it, needed to be perfect. _Something to remember on the cold nights ahead_ he thought while he smirked indiscernibly.

Harry let out an audible sight of relief to which Snape narrowed his eyes at, but did not comment on. They agreed that the next time they met for his Occlumency lesson, less than a few days later, they would finish the deed.

It was in short order that Snape administered the potion, catalogued the results, and exited as ostentatiously as he had come. When Harry looked down to find the picture still sheltered between his arm and chest, he looked questioningly at the sour face the Lupent had. The animal's eyes had closed, and his muzzle was crinkled in obvious disgust.

"Yeah, I know, he's a git, but doesn't smell that bad to me," Harry said, watching avidly as the Lupent gave him a disbelieving stare.

"No, really," he admitted, "I was surprised too, but when I'm a Lupent I can stand to be around him."

The Lupent snorted, which Harry was still surprised to be able to hear, but his opinion was quite clear. It definitely wasn't a normal photograph, but Remus hadn't seemed to want to explain anything about the picture.

Harry only shrugged in response to the Lupent's disgust. "Well, it's not like I'm normal in any other aspect, why should this be any different?"

The Lupent nodded his head gamely after a moment of consideration, before settling in the grass for a nap. Harry carefully stored his picture away in his trunk, and got ready for bed though it was only now nearing evening. He wasn't hungry, and certainly wasn't in the mood to face Remus after what had just happened.

So he settled down for some good ole' fashioned slap-and-tickle with himself. After wiggling out of his pants, he settled down on the bed with his back against the headboard, a pillow behind him for cushioning, the lights off, and the sheets at his feet freeing him from any restraint.

Already his prick was half hard, and it only took a few now-expert strokes to bring it to fullness. Harry could not muffle his sighs of pleasure. The head of his cock had already begun to redden and glisten in the darkness, like a lighthouse attracting his attention. He had to muffle a snort at the analogy, but let a groan loose when his thumb brushed over the head, smearing pre-come and heightening his sensitivity.

Settling his head back he closed his eyes, imagining he could smell the darkness of a werewolf close by, smothering him in its silky sweet scent designed to bring him to instant arousal. He could almost feel the thick auburn hair between his fingertips and a slick prick pressed against his own. He imagined a heavily scarred, but deliciously sexy, body rubbing against him, rising above his own smaller form dominantly. He felt subjugated in the most pleasurable way.

His hand quickened its pace, and he moaned loudly this time, unable to control himself while he bucked into his hand. He dreamed he was arching against the hard body pressed against his own, humping hard into the man he could only dream to be with. He bit his lip hard enough to draw blood when he felt the tightening of his entire body, as taut as a bowstring ready to snap.

With only a few more thrusts he knew he could fall over the edge, but something held him back. Something was needed to push him over the cliff, and when he clenched his fist and his eyes hard simultaneously, black obsidian eyes seemed to glare at him from the darkness and he climaxed with a shout. Spewing over his hand and belly, he gasped deeply, his eyes snapping open in surprise and disgust. Snape…Snape had warped him!

With a grimace, he cleaned his body off and slumped into an exhausted heap, slipping off steadily into unconsciousness.

Down further in his bedroom, Remus tried to ignore the excited groans coming from Harry's room, but when his own hand fumbled to release his erection, he could not stop himself. Damning himself in every language he knew, he roughly pulled and tugged at his arousal, dreaming of nothing, but listening intently to the sounds echoing eerily down the hallway. He could only imagine the picture the boy made, but the boy's lust-husky voice made him as hard as he could ever remember being. He quickened his pace to catch up, knowing instinctively the boy was close…

He found his climax in the strangled shout of the boy whom he should have called 'son' but could only wish to call 'lover'.

--------------------

The tension in the house had eased a bit, but was still not as comfortable as they had hoped. It was the day before Harry was supposed to leave for Hogwarts for his transformation, which he had been informed would be activated every twenty-nine and a half days of the lunar cycle.

That afternoon he had another Occlumency lesson, and though his concussion was gone, he was still leery around Snape. Not to mention the 'situation' they had found themselves in. He was full of conflicting emotions; his belly had to too-full feeling one has after eating too much. On one hand, he was disgusted by the blatant display of power Snape wielded over his life, though he wondered how much trouble Remus could get in with Dumbledore since he wasn't the Defense Professor any longer…

But then again, Harry was never one to take chances. Well, he took chances, but if this one could be avoided with a simple kiss, why not go with the flow? He certainly didn't feel any sort of _excitement_ over the deal…and even if under duress he would never admit to feeling any sort of anticipation.

"No need to be so nervous, Mr. Potter," Severus said mockingly, his wand at the ready. They had the unspoken agreement that the kiss would take place after their business was through, though Harry felt as if it was only heightening the anxiety he already felt. He was sure that secretly it was Snape's plan to make him a bumbling idiot by the time they were through.

"I'll be nervous if I want to," he returned lamely. He winced at his own reply; it was the weakest he had ever thrown back. Snape seemed to think so as well.

"Surely, Mr. Potter, you aren't thinking about our little deal, are you? Surely the heroic Gryffindor of the Century is not afraid of one tiny little kiss?" Snape taunted acidly.

"You really put a lot of effort into making me hate the very sight of you, don't you?" Harry asked almost conversationally. He ignored Snape's patented 'You-will-bow-before-the-awesome-power-of-my-aggravated-presence' glare, and concentrated hard on rebuilding the walls around his mind that Snape had unceremoniously smashed to pieces three nights ago.

"Legilimens!" Snape shouted, attacking Harry's weakened defenses unmercifully. But surprisingly, the wall held up rather well as Harry was frantic to stop Snape from seeing any other incriminating memories.

Snape's face was suffused in color at the mental rebuff, and he immediately barked, "Legilimens!" once again.

But Harry held firm, gritting his teeth against the invasion of his self, his mind aflame in screaming pain at callous way Snape ripped at his walls. But he vowed to himself that he would not let the bastard in to steal more of his happiness – he had already taken his memories of Remus; he wouldn't steal anything else.

"No!" he cried out in desperation before driving the man back. His thoughts were suddenly tangled in Severus' own, and Harry was horrified to find himself in the other man's mind.

_A young Severus was being held upside down in a courtyard surrounded by laughing classmates, a horrible burning sensation in his chest and an all-fulfilling rage at the injustices aimed against him…_

_Severus watching from the corner of his eye as a young Harry Potter gazed back at him with wary eyes at his first year Welcoming Feast…_

His father stood, kicking and shoving a fifteen-year-old Severus against his bedroom wall, screaming, "The very sight of you makes me sick! I told you I expected you to make Prefect this year, and you couldn't even accomplish that! You are not fit to be a Snape…"

Harry was wrenched from the Potion master's mind, thrust away mentally with the strength of ten men, and he landed against the far wall. Breathing heavily, he stared in shocked horror at the trembling, fatigued Professor in front of him, gaping silently in confusion.

"I…I'm…I didn't mean to," Harry said shakily, looking down into his lap, unable to meet those searing black eyes boring into his down-turned face.

"It doesn't matter," Snape said coldly. "It was acceptable that you forced me from your mind, but if you push too hard you will get trapped in the Dark Lord's. I can assure you, his would be far worse than either of us could imagine."

"I'm sorry," Harry mumbled. "I really didn't-"

"Oh, do be quiet. Neither of us could help it," Snape cut him off, irritation plainly evident in his smooth voice.

"I…okay," Harry said, still unable to make eye contact with the man standing in front of him. He was shy, and uncomfortably aware that a bond had been forged which could not be so easily destroyed again. He had not raged, threatened, or maimed Harry for inadveratantly stealing into his mind – that had to be progress of some sort.

"Well, that's enough for tonight," Snape said, exhaustion edging the corners of his words like ice. Harry shivered.

"I…well…should we do it now?" he asked hesitantly, still breathing erratically, though he wasn't sure if he was out of breath for the right reasons anymore. He had not moved from the floor, and could only see the tips of Snape's glossy shoes, so he missed the expression of triumph on his face.

"Tonight will not be good, Potter. We shall just have to do it on another night, _before_ your Occlumency lesson, I believe."

"Oh…well, okay, if you think so," Harry said, trying to feel the relief he knew he should. He could only feel a dull pull in his stomach, and tried to make himself believe that was the missing emotion. He was failing miserably, but attempted to hide it from the other man.

They were both silent, Snape reading the fleeting expressions on the boy's face while Harry tried not to look directly into Snape's eyes.

"I will see you tomorrow, Potter," Snape abruptly said.

"What? Why?" Harry asked, looking up in surprise.

Snape rolled his eyes, and said slowly, "The morning of September 1st is your Changing. You will be in the dungeons for the protection of the children. So tomorrow you will be taken to Hogwarts in preparation, as you surely cannot ride the Hogwarts Train as a raging beast, now can you?"

"I…oh," Harry said dumbly. "Why am I staying with you?"

"The Beast will be on an important Order assignment, and cannot attend to your needs," Severus derided happily.

"Oh," Harry said softly, his eyes downcast. "I understand."

Snape was suddenly, irrationally, irritated. _What is the stupid boy pining after?_ He would see to it that the Beast was given no chance of this boy's affection. And it would be Snape that would take it away.

Without giving it another thought, he was spurred forward in his frustration and lifted the boy to his feet by his shoulders.

"Whoa, wha-" Harry started, but was cut off by the press of thin lips against his own. Not having expected the attack, he was stock still for a moment, his eyes wide behind his glasses as the man pressed him back against the stone wall behind him. They both seemed frozen by the suddenness of the action, and neither were responsive to the kiss.

"You will not even think about _him_ while I am here," Snape breathed after he pulled away briefly.

"What are-" Harry tried again, but was once again stopped in mid sentence by the Potion master's insistence. But Harry had been semi-prepared this time, and opened his mouth slightly in hopes of tempting some other feeling than the press of dry lips.

Lured by the sweet promise of that not-so-innocent mouth, Snape grew aggressive, stabbing forward with his tongue to plunder the inside of Harry Potter with no remorse. His tongue soothed and caressed before turning wicked and cunning, teasing Harry's tongue with flicks of his own before darting away.

Harry groaned urgently, pulling the man closer to his body, and arching his neck submissively while demanding more.

Snape pulled away for a moment, captivated by the ravished look upon the boy's face.

"You like that, don't you, Potter? You like to be taken roughly, to be dominated, to be reduced to a begging whore," Snape whispered, cajoling Harry's mouth to open wide for him with teasing nips before dipping his tongue deftly inside the boy's mouth.

"Or do you like it to be sweet and tender, with barely-there touches like the Beast prefers?" Snape said, his voice lowering an octave.

Harry whimpered, pressing and arching his body against the stern man in front of him. Remus? Remus who? He wanted more of that citrus taste that burned his tongue and made his mind flame in desire. He was quivering from a mere kiss from the man, what more could he withstand?

"No, I think we both know what you want…Harry," Snape murmured quietly, before grabbing the boy roughly by the hair, yanking his had back, and taking his mouth with ruthless passion.

-----

Harry moaned wantonly, his mouth full of the taste that had haunted his dreams for the past three nights. It had been a mixture of sweet and sharp smells, and his dream lover with auburn hair had always morphed into a man with the darkness of Hell right before he climaxed. Every damn night he had dreamed of the man.

"Please," he begged, pulling away to gasp for air. "Please, more," he whimpered.

"Yes," Snape hissed. "Beg me, plead for my body to be buried inside of you…" he trailed off, his voice a whisper of velvet in the chilled air.

"Oh, please, god, I need you," Harry gurgled, his voice strangled. He couldn't breathe; he could barely function. All he knew was a longing so deep he could think of no reason not to obey the commands the man in front of him desired.

"Soon," Snape said softly, running his fingers - which had been cruelly digging into the boy's scalp but had turned gentle – soothing the boy. "You are not ready yet, but soon."

"Why not now?" Harry asked, his brilliant green eyes dazed. "Don't you want me?"

"Oh, my impudent Gryffindor, you do not know how much," Snape murmured in his ear, his breath sending shivers down Harry's spine.

"I want you," Harry cried, arching his body roughly against Snape in demand.

"You do not know what you want, idiot boy," Snape said harshly. "You play with fire when you tempt grown men. You are nothing but a tease."

"No, no," Harry said, his eyes pleading. "I'll give you whatever you want." His eyes were wild as he leaned against the wall, spreading his knees as if to give him access to his entire self. He briefly wondered at his own sudden change…but he could not control himself. It was as if he were separated from his body and its rampant desires.

Snape drew in a rough gasp, before punishing the boy's impudence with a sharp tug to the boy's hair. "Foolish boy, offering that which you do not know enough of to give. I thought you had more sense than this, but perhaps you are too young to know the difference," Snape said slyly, watching the outrage blossom on the boy's face.

"I am not a child!" Harry retorted harshly. "I know what I'm doing!"

"Do you really, Potter? I don't believe that. If you knew, I don't think you'd be offering me your body so casually," Severus answered, calm once more.

Now that the world was slowly coming back into focus, Harry was embarrassed at his actions and could not answer the man's taunts. He looked shamefacedly down at his worn trainers with an expression of disbelief. How could he have been so stupid?

-----

Snape watched the blush stain the young boy's cheeks, sighing mentally. He knew it was the Lupent inside of the boy that was making his reactions so strong, but he was not above using it as a means of getting what he wanted. And what he wanted was the innocent youth in front of him that had begged so prettily to be taken against a wall for the first time. He did not speak to soothe the flush on the boy's face, but instead started once again smoothing a hand over the ruffled mop of dark hair, still pressing his body against the boy. _Best not to put too much distance between us_, Snape thought, _or he might be tempted to pull away._

As it was, he could still feel the boy's unwanted arousal digging into his thigh, and with a feral smile, shifted slightly to put more pressure on Potter's groin. Harry tried to muffle his grunt of surprise, but could not find room to pull away, and the pressure was so delicious that he tried to surreptitiously move closer while distracting the man.

"I never knew you felt this way, Professor," Harry said innocently, staring up into those bottomless dark eyes that easily captivated his attention.

Feeling the boy thrust slightly against him, he pressed closer, no longer worried about disguising his actions, and watched the boy's eyes darken and glaze over.

"Well, that would never have been appropriate, would it, Mr. Potter?" he asked mockingly, flexing the smooth muscle of his thigh in warning.

"No, sir," Harry gulped, leaning his head back against the wall as if in surrender.

"Would you have done this without my coaxing, Mr. Potter?" Snape asked, but answered quickly, saving them both the babble of incoherence that made up Potter's mind. "No, you would never have even thought about it."

"How do you know?" Harry asked pertly.

Snape only lifted a single eyebrow in questioning disdain.

"No, I probably wouldn't have," Potter said grudgingly. "But still, why did you decide to do this?" Potter asked, waving a hand at their incriminating positions.

"That is not for you to know, Potter," Snape sneered, before thrusting his leg sharply against Potter's erection.

Harry moaned, whimpered, and without further warning, climaxed quickly in his pants.

"What-that's never-ohh," Harry grumbled, sliding down the wall in a boneless heap when Snape stepped backwards without a word.

"I see we'll have to work on your stamina, Potter, if you ever wish to fuck like an adult," Snape said carelessly, ignoring the wide eyes of the boy on the ground in front of him.

Harry was stunned. Fuck Severus Snape? He had never truly considered the possibility an actual option, but now that it had been thrown out into the open, he was surprised to discover his libido considered that idea one of the best he had ever heard.

His hopes –and renewing erection- were immediately dashed soon after.

"But I will have nothing to do with you if you cannot learn Occlumency," Snape sneered, his mask already back in place. It was as if nothing had ever happened between them, and it struck a painful cord in Harry that he seemed to have forgotten it so quickly. It was if he hadn't been affected at all.

"I…okay," Harry said softly. "I'll do my best, now that I have a goal to reach," he said.

Snape merely glared at him. "See that you do. I do not wish to be killed by the Dark Lord after he goes traipsing through your mind and sees what we have been up to."

"Prat," Harry answered, smiling wearily. "And I will work on it," he promised.

They were both quiet for a moment, before Harry garnered the courage to speak up. "But do you really mean it, Professor?"

"Mean what, Potter?" Snape asked, crossing his arms imperiously.

"That if I learn Occlumency, then we could…" Harry trailed off weakly, unable to find the word to describe the budding relationship between the two men.

"Fuck?" Snape asked, raising a brow in amusement when the boy winced.

"No," Harry argued defiantly. "It would be more than that."

"Don't get your hopes you, you insolent pup. It would be nothing more than that," Snape said harshly, pulling away from the boy who still crouched on the ground at his feet. It was unnerving to see that rebellious glitter back in his eye as Harry slowly got to his feet to stalk towards the Potions Professor.

"It would be more than that. You would not be going through all this trouble," he said, waving a hand around to indicate all that had passed between them, "for just a fuck."

"What I choose to do is no business of yours, Potter," Severus spat. "If you think-"

A delicate tread of footsteps broke off the end of what Snape had been about to stay, and both whirled away from each other and stood at either end of the room, glaring. Harry glanced down, and with a grimace he noticed the stickiness gluing the pants to his skin, and with a quickly muttered cleansing spell, had the evidence disappear as their unwanted guest opened the door.

"Ah, Harry, I had thought to find you down here," the Headmaster said congenially as he stepped through the portal and stood regally at the top of the stairs. Harry swallowed the lump in his throat, and stepped forward to meet Dumbledore's serious blue eyes.

"Yes, I'm here, Professor," Harry muttered, brushing a hand through his wild hair absently. "Did you need me for something?"

"No, no, I just wanted to let you know that Remus will be leaving this evening for a while, and he wanted to speak to you before he left, Harry," Dumbledore said gently, watching his face for his reaction.

Harry's face fell, but he nodded to show he understood. He turned to look slightly out of the corner of his eye at the stiffened form of his Potion's Professor and asked sarcastically, "Is it okay to be let out of class early, Professor?"

Snape, with his arms still crossed, shook his head. "We are not through with your lesson today, Mr. Potter," he said with barely concealed menace. He wanted to strangle the boy, and then fuck him ruthlessly, but when he noticed Dumbledore was looking strangely in his direction, he quickly guarded his mind.

"I believe that will be enough for today, Severus," Dumbledore said quietly. "Harry, you may leave now."

"Yes, Professor," Harry mumbled, exchanging a look between the two older men before shrugging slightly and leaving the cellar quickly in search of Remus.

The Headmaster waited until Harry was out of sight before turning slightly chilly eyes to observe his furious Potion master. They had always had a rather volatile relationship, Severus and Dumbledore. Severus was well known for his vitriolic wit and he did not lessen it even in the presence of the most powerful wizards alive, whether it was Dumbledore or Voldemort. To Snape's thinking, he was doing both men a favor, and both had let his sarcastic, un-subdued behavior slide without comment when in private conference. So, while Severus did not believe in withholding any aspect of his acidic personality, Dumbledore did not bother to conceal his iron-gripped hand on Fate when around the Potions Professor.

"You are playing a dangerous game, Severus," he said, his normally cheerful voice serious.

Snape sniffed, undaunted. "You do not know what you speak of, old man," he sneered with his trademark scowl in place.

"You are playing with Harry's life, and that is something I cannot allow," Albus returned calmly.

"Oh, so you are the only one allowed a hand in the boy's future, Headmaster?" Snape asked with feigned surprise. "Why not let the boy make his own decisions for once," he smirked.

"I do not know why you are acting this way, Severus, but I will get to the bottom of it, and if you hurt Harry I will not be happy. He is still young."

"Are you threatening me, Headmaster?" Severus frowned, his arms unfolding to touch the tip of his wand in his sleeve. "And he is no child, as Potter was busy telling me earlier."

"No, Severus, I am not threatening you, but consider it a warning," Albus placated. "Both of you are like sons to me, and I don't want to see either of you hurt."

"I can take care of myself," Snape said tonelessly, "like I always have." His fingers dropped away from his wand as both men relaxed slightly.

Dumbledore's eyes grew sad. "It should not have been that way, Severus," he said soothingly. "Just know that I am here for you both."

"Your words have been duly noted, Headmaster. Now, I must leave, I have work to finish today now that the Potter brat is not taking up my precious time-" he was about to finish with a dramatic whirl when a thunderous sound began above their heads. Both exited the room quickly, and Severus knew that the boy had gotten himself into trouble once again, and once again he must rush to the rescue. Damn idiot.

--------------------

"Remus? Where are you?" Harry asked quietly as he made his way through the different rooms. He had already glanced into the older man's bedroom, but he had not been there, and had begun to search through the house. Nearing the library, he noticed the light was on underneath the edge of the door, and tapped the old wood softly.

"Yes, come in," Remus bade, shuffling through the books in the large, private library. He didn't know how long this mission would last, and one never knew what supplies would be needed.

"Professor Dumbledore said you wanted to see me?" Harry asked, stepping into the warmly lit room, the fireplace crackling invitingly, the smell of musty tomes mingling with damp mold and warm air. It jumbled the senses, as if stepping back in time.

"Yes, Harry," Remus said slowly, keeping his eyes trained on the book spines in front of him. "I'm sure the Headmaster has mentioned that I will be leaving for a mission this evening," he began.

"Yes," Harry sighed, his eyes lowering in disappointment. "I was hoping you could at least stay with me during my Changing, but Snape said I was going to be in the dungeons."

"I'm sorry Harry," Remus murmured.

Harry shrugged, trying to school his features into indifference. "Well, whatever."

"Harry, listen, I-" Remus abruptly cut himself off, taking a deep sniff. "What's that smell?"

Harry's eyes narrowed in suspicion while he took a tentative sniff of himself, before his eyes shot open wide in shock. "Oh…uh…"

Because tomorrow was going to be his Changing, his senses had gradually increased and he could smell things no human – besides possibly Snape - could possibly decipher. There was the stink of mold from the cellar clinging to his clothing and the palms of his hands from his rough landings on the floor; the musk of sweat emanated from underneath his arms and the surface of the tender skin of his neck; the heady citrus of the Potions master made his lips sting richly; and the smell of semen was strong from the front of his pants, though a cleaning charm had been used.

If Harry could smell all of those in a split second, he was sure Remus was aware of them as well.

"Oh, I, well…" Harry shrugged and tried to smile weakly.

Remus had blushed when he too had realized what some of the varied sort of smells were – though he was confused by the strong scent of citrus, he knew Snape had been teaching him Occlumency this afternoon and was not worried – and tried to laugh it off.

"I know, you're sixteen, you can't help it," Remus said, coughing lightly to dispel the tension.

Harry laughed in relief, knowing he had escaped a potentially sticky (he winced at the unintended pun) situation.

"Yeah," Harry grinned, "the Lupent has not only given me a new body on the New Moon, but also made me horny enough to-" Harry cut himself off, his tongue and the unexpected amnesty of his snog with Snape having gotten the better of him.

But Remus only laughed out loud this time, nodding his head in agreement. "Believe me, I know all about it. A time as a teenager werewolf was not easy, let me assure you," he said, his chuckles still evident.

Harry looked away, shy again. He rubbed the toe of his worn trainers into the thin rug in front of the fireplace, before darting his eyes back to meet the amused amber eyes of the werewolf in front of him. "So, um, was there anything else you wanted to tell me before you left?" he asked, trying to hide his hopefulness. Though he knew it was wrong, he still wanted his godfather's lover; only now, his desire was slowly starting to include a certain Potions Professor who was a greasy bastard, but a damn good kisser no matter how much Harry would have wanted to deny it.

"I-" Remus suddenly stuttered, "I, well, I wanted to tell you that…I will miss you a lot, Harry," he said softly, his amber eyes torn.

"I'll miss you too, Remus," Harry said, his eyes gleaming. He was both elated and saddened at the same time; he knew it would be a while before he would get the chance to see Remus again, but at least he would have the knowledge that Remus resented the separation as much as he did.

Harry watched Remus as he stood in the dim light uncertainly, his shoulders hunched and his thin body almost folded in upon itself. So Harry, without thinking for the second time that day in as few minutes, stepped forward to wrap his arms around Remus and pulled his head tenderly down to his own.

Remus gasped, his body stiffening before he uttered a groan of true despair and deepened the kiss with animalistic desire, his need starkly exposed. Harry answered the unspoken beg with his tongue, stroking Remus' soft lips with his newly learned finesse.

"No!" Remus suddenly shouted, pushing the young boy away from him with barely suppressed violence.

Harry gasped for breath, his hand held over his heaving chest and rapidly beating heart while he blinked in confusion. "What is it?"

"We should not be doing this, Harry. It is wrong," Remus said, his voice cracking. He turned away, his eyes drawn to the flickering flames in the fireplace. He could not stand to see the deliciously debauched look on the boy's face; his will was crumbling before his very eyes.

"How can it be wrong, Remus? There is nothing to stop us from being together," Harry defended, trying to force the reoccurring image of Snape that flickered before his eyes to disappear.

"It is wrong to _me_, Harry," Remus snarled, losing some of his vaunted control. "I am a grown man, I should not be allowing such actions to take place."

"I am not a child, Remus," Harry defended angrily. "I know what I'm doing."

Remus scoffed. "Only children say such things," he sniffed, before taking a deep breath. He knew he was starting to sound like Snape, which was horrifying in itself, and he could sense Harry's sudden withdrawal emotionally.

"I cannot defend myself from that," Harry said, his voice tight. "But I can defend my actions. I know exactly what I was doing, and I was kissing you because I want you."

"You cannot know what you want, Harry," Remus said tiredly, his amber eyes reflecting the flames eerily as he turned away from the fireplace to look at the trembling boy.

"Why does everyone say that?" Harry cried. "How can anyone know what I want, if not me?"

Remus sighed, flicking his rust-colored bangs away from his eyes. "Harry, I'm sorry. But I cannot do this with you, it just isn't right."

Harry drew in a harsh breath and pulled away as if slapped. "How can it not be right when it feels so good?" he whispered.

Remus smiled without mirth. "Haven't you heard that the things that are most desirable are the worst for you?"

"Then what, is Snape good for me?" Harry taunted. "Because he seems to want me," he said wildly, ignoring Remus' roughly indrawn breath of surprise.

Remus' eyes darkened dangerously. "Stay away from Snape, Harry. He is a dangerous man."

"Well, if you don't want me, what's to stop me from finding someone that will?" Harry asked bitterly. "Why am I not good enough for you?" he asked softly, after a moment of silence.

This situation was completely out of his character; he hated talking about feelings and desires, and…well…anything similar. Yet, he couldn't control his words, his actions, his wild emotions. It was as if he were turning into a female! He shuddered at the thought, and tried to reign in his rampant mood swings.

Remus let out a small sigh, before smiling wearily. "You are a wonderful and beautiful boy, Harry. I doubt I could deny that, as you've seen evidence at how much I desire you," Remus said, self-loathing creeping into his voice.

Harry's eyes brightened, and he took a tentative step forward before he was stopped by Remus' raised hand.

"But it would not be right for me to take advantage of you, Harry. Now is not the right time for any of this to happen," he said quietly, his eyes downcast. "I'm leaving tomorrow on Order business, and I do not know how long I will be gone. It's very dangerous," Remus finished bluntly.

"If not now, then when?" Harry asked harshly. "We both might die within the year, why am I not allowed to have a chance at being happy? Why must I always give up what I want for everyone else? WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL?" Harry ended, shouting, his fists clenched and his eyes closed.

There was a loud crack, and the bookshelves began to fall apart, spitting out books and their ripped pages wildly. The neat stack Remus had made earlier tumbled to the floor as the house shook with the force of Harry's uncontrollable anger.

"Stop it! Stop it Harry!" Remus shouted, withdrawing his wand to cast a quick shielding spell, watching in horrified awe as the books swirled around the quivering, furious body of Harry Potter.

"Calm down!" Remus tried again, but Harry was not to be encouraged. In fact, the howling tornado of books only increased, and Remus truly began to become frightened as various sized tomes clashed loudly against his steadily weakening shield.

"I just want someone to want _me_," Harry said through gritted teeth, his eyes still shut, his body wavering in rage.

"Stupefy," Remus cried, his wand aimed at the swaying form of the thin boy, but all he succeeded in doing was knock a few books out of the whirlwind.

Suddenly, the door crashed open, and both Snape and Dumbledore stood in the doorway, watching in amazement at the angry force.

Dumbledore began to take out his wand, but Severus forestalled the movement, edging closer.

"Potter!" Snape called smoothly, his voice never wavering. Remus could see Harry visibly tremble, but the books still whirled, upending the table and chairs. The fireplace went out, and though the afternoon sun still shone through a window, it was still dark.

"Potter, cease that racket this instant," Snape said calmly.

"Prof-ffesor Snape?" Harry asked timidly. The books abruptly dropped to the floor, and Remus dimly realized Severus had reached the boy even in his anger.

"Yes, idiot, who else would be stupid enough to enter a library that a Potter was demolishing?"

Harry choked out a laugh before stumbling towards the doorway. "I'm sorry, sorry," he mumbled, before pitching forward dizzily.

Snape deftly caught the boy in his arms, gently cradling him against his chest before he left without another word to either man who still stood silently.

"You stupid boy, letting out all the energy for no reason…wasted it all on that beast…always having to rescue you from yourself…"

Snape's voice trailed off as he left further down the corridor, climbed the stairs, and made his way towards Harry's bedroom.

"Why did this happen, Remus?" Dumbledore asked calmly, stepping further into the room after the last traces of Snape's irritated voice faded away.

Remus clenched his fists, allowing his shield to diffuse into nothing. "I…I was trying to explain to Harry why…why we could not…be together, over the school year. Because I will be gone, on Order business," Remus said, trying to hide the real reason behind an overly simplified truth.

"I see," Albus said, his expression calmly amused. "Harry did not take your…separation well then, did he?"

"Ah, no, Headmaster," Remus said.

"Well…I'm sure Harry understands why you cannot…be together," Dumbledore offered coolly.

"I explained that I, er, would be gone most of the time, Albus," Remus said, his voice hoarse.

"Yes, I'm sure you did. Well, I suppose we should get this cleaned up, then, shall we?" Dumbledore said congenially, before flicking his wand with deft ease.

--------------------

"Professor Snape?" Harry questioned weakly, as Snape calmly barged into the room Harry had been using over the summer.

"Yes, what is it, Potter?" Snape sneered, dumping the boy onto the bed roughly.

"I-thank you, for helping me," Harry said quietly, lying still on the bed where he had been deposited.

"Yes, it always seems I must come to your rescue, even from your self," Snape muttered dryly.

"You helped me," Harry stressed, his eyes flashing as he looked up into the looming Professor's midnight eyes.

Snape said nothing, watching the boy with detached interest.

"What were you doing in there with Lupin?" Snape finally asked.

"I-well, he said," Harry tried to say, but blushed. It gave everything away, and Snape turned away from the sight, heading towards the door emotionlessly.

"Wait, Sna-I mean, sir!" Harry called, pushing himself off the bed as if ready to give chase. But he weaved on his feet, still drained from his outburst of magic.

"Lie down," Snape commanded, striding back towards him to push him brusquely back onto the bed.

"I…I kissed him," Harry said softly, and Snape froze at the helplessness in his voice. "I kissed him and he pushed me away. He said he didn't want me, that it was wrong to be with me." His voice was strained and rough as if holding back tears. His green eyes glittered suspiciously behind his glasses.

"Then he is a fool," Snape said dispassionately, before leaving the gaping boy staring at his back in startled hope.

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**Word count**: 9,660

Thank you all so much for your continued support. Your requests go a long way towards encouraging me to get my arse in gear and finish the project. I was so excited when I found this chapter. Editing has been done, but not to the extent that I probably should have. So any errors you catch, please let me know so I may fix them. Yet, I wanted to post quickly for those who have been waiting so patiently.

A special thanks to the wonderfully supportive reviewers, there's too many to list, otherwise I would!

**TBC**


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